[nooni]

just one more week then spring break.... i am sooooooooooo freagin tired, im having crazy breakdowns... and major stresses, causing my muscles to spasm....blaaaaaaaaaaaah

oneeeeee moreeeeeeeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

[Aida]

Originally Posted by jaani

So I didn't want to make a thread about this because there's some haramified and besharam stuff on it, but its quite an interesting site. Take a look

PostSecret


~j

I like that site. It's weirdly amusing. I think they update it weekly.

[Salika]

On PostSecret they have this "I found your camera" project

I lost my camera at my nikkah and ya.. pictures too

alhamdulillah my brother did snap a couple of pictures with his camera, but it wasn't the same... if anyone has seen it, ya PM me

[Laimuun]

ALHAMDULILLAH.

thank you ladies for your duas!!!!!

[jaani]

Originally Posted by heba

that is a super cute site. and did you watch the video at the bottom? cute, but creepy, idea

www.ifoundyourcamera.net

It definitely is creepy......I don't think I want to find my lost camera in there

~j

[iSHi]

So like there's this guy who really wants to marry me, asked my my dad (via e-mail) if in the future we could and my dad at first ignored him and than denied him. Without even approaching me. But we've been talking (on and off) for almost over a year and he's really great mA. So I'm thinking if I say something to daddy, he'd maybe be more open-minded!? I'm like really scared and confused, and they guy is saying we should stop talking completely because of the whole "shaytaan" and "temptations" and all the other stuff and well we both know it's haram. But we really like each other, and he's kinda scared of my dad now...so what should I do?! Dua3s please.

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by iSHi

So like there's this guy who really wants to marry me, asked my my dad (via e-mail) if in the future we could and my dad at first ignored him and than denied him. Without even approaching me. But we've been talking (on and off) for almost over a year and he's really great mA. So I'm thinking if I say something to daddy, he'd maybe be more open-minded!? I'm like really scared and confused, and they guy is saying we should stop talking completely because of the whole "shaytaan" and "temptations" and all the other stuff and well we both know it's haram. But we really like each other, and he's kinda scared of my dad now...so what should I do?! Dua3s please.

wait... so.. he proposed through.. email?

[jaani]

Originally Posted by iSHi

So like there's this guy who really wants to marry me, asked my my dad (via e-mail) if in the future we could and my dad at first ignored him and than denied him. Without even approaching me. But we've been talking (on and off) for almost over a year and he's really great mA. So I'm thinking if I say something to daddy, he'd maybe be more open-minded!? I'm like really scared and confused, and they guy is saying we should stop talking completely because of the whole "shaytaan" and "temptations" and all the other stuff and well we both know it's haram. But we really like each other, and he's kinda scared of my dad now...so what should I do?! Dua3s please.

If your dad has already denied meeting him, then you saying that you've been in contact with him for a year will definitely make him lose his cool. Get someone neutral involved, explain the situation, and ask for help. Your dad won't be so open minded if he accidentally finds out that his daughter was talking to a guy that he refused to consider in the first place.

But props to the guy for wanting to end the talking....even though he realized it a year later

But what about his parents? Whats their say in this whole thing?

If its serious with the guy, then the best thing to do is Istikhara and Allah (swt) for help...along with getting a neutral party involved

Good luck!!

~j

[iSHi]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

wait... so.. he proposed through.. email?

No....It was more I hope you don't mind me talking to your daughter because shes so awesome and I hope to marry her someday with your blessing. E-mail proposals are tacky.

[nooni]

Originally Posted by iSHi

So like there's this guy who really wants to marry me, asked my my dad (via e-mail) if in the future we could and my dad at first ignored him and than denied him. Without even approaching me. But we've been talking (on and off) for almost over a year and he's really great mA. So I'm thinking if I say something to daddy, he'd maybe be more open-minded!? I'm like really scared and confused, and they guy is saying we should stop talking completely because of the whole "shaytaan" and "temptations" and all the other stuff and well we both know it's haram. But we really like each other, and he's kinda scared of my dad now...so what should I do?! Dua3s please.

im with sumi on this one...

pls, if there is a guy who is interested in any girl, dont EVER have him do a proposal thru email.

[nooni]

Originally Posted by iSHi

No....It was more I hope you don't mind me talking to your daughter because shes so awesome and I hope to marry her someday with your blessing. E-mail proposals are tacky.

yes but thats tacky too

[moonlightrose]

so um yeah.

[iSHi]

Originally Posted by jaani

If your dad has already denied meeting him, then you saying that you've been in contact with him for a year will definitely make him lose his cool. Get someone neutral involved, explain the situation, and ask for help. Your dad won't be so open minded if he accidentally finds out that his daughter was talking to a guy that he refused to consider in the first place.

But props to the guy for wanting to end the talking....even though he realized it a year later

But what about his parents? Whats their say in this whole thing?

If its serious with the guy, then the best thing to do is Istikhara and Allah (swt) for help...along with getting a neutral party involved

Good luck!!

~j

Well we kinda keep going back and forth. We'll talk, than we'll stop. This kinda happend in the summer time.(E-mail with dad) SO we stopped talking during ramadhan and almost up until the beginning of this month.

His parents especially his dad are REALLY happy. But our parents haven't talked to eachother..yet. We'll see what happens when I leave next month.

[vanillawafer]

Originally Posted by Salika

I can be technically..

... but part of the nikkah is consummation. You're basically kind of suppose to announce it in a subtle manner.

I learned over the summer when I took the fiqh of marriage that if a couple has the nikkah but the girl gets pregnant before the walima (and it's sunnah to do the walima right around the time, particularly after the marriage is consummated), then the guy is not automatically considered the biological father of the child. If the guy dies, the family is not obligated to claim the child.

Also, although we know usually the wife can not deny her husband without a reasonable excuse but that's not true for the first time if there's no walima. She can say no.

A lot of fiqh technicalities and are mostly useful for couples who don't each other very well or see the process as still getting to know each other.

Arabs consider the nikkah time as a time for the couple to get to know each other. Some Arabs do the nikkah almost right after after the acceptance. Traditionally, a lot of parents did not let the nikkah'd unwalimafied couple be alone. That's been laxed over the past few years.

My fiance-husband proposed to me after the meeting ... and I accepted after a few days and we continued to get to know each other for a few weeks but did not announce our engagement then had the nikkah and that's when we announced it...

We do it a bit differently. A guy will come and ask for the girl, and if the parents agree, we'll be considered engaged. But nothing is official, we're just spoken for. We usually get to know each other during that period. Then depending on the couple, they'll get married whenever they want. Some wait between 6months- 2 years. When its wedding time, we'll have the nikkah a couple days before the wedding reception. Most will have it on friday and then the reception on sunday. They're always within a few days of each other. The bridal shower is about a month or two before the wedding.