[Timbit]

Originally Posted by Spice

I think its a desi thing for the inlaws to want their bahus to be all decked out and look bang bang.

Yeah, and I don't see anything wrong with it. We're talking about after the wedding though... not at the wedding. At the wedding, you obviously have to be all decked out.

It's one of the pros of getting married in my opinion. Like, there's certain jewellery only married women wear. My parents can get me all the jewellery they want, but they won't get me bangles, for example, 'cause they're like "No, that's for married people."

You obviously don't have to wear all of your wedding jewellery all the time, but certain pieces can be worn on a regular basis.
I'd hate if I weren't getting any use out of my jewellery at all. What's the point in having it then?

[Spice]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Spice: And I love you.
You should marry my brother; you'd make a hot bahu.

Even though my nose hair peek out sometimes?

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by Spice

Even though my nose hair peek out sometimes?

He has the same problem.
I got him a nose hair trimmer. He loves it. He'll probably let you use it if you ask nicely enough.

[silvermalaikah]

last night i saw the funniest billboard on the highway. in big, bold font it says:
LOGICAL LASERS. CALL NOW: 1 800 R U HAIRY.

[sumiyia]

though sometimes its reasonable, other times its a bit much... like when you're going to some ordinary dawat at someone you don't even know, and everyone else gets to wear shawlar kameez while you wear a frikkin GHARARA...

[Spice]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

though sometimes its reasonable, other times its a bit much... like when you're going to some ordinary dawat at someone you don't even know, and everyone else gets to wear shawlar kameez while you wear a frikkin GHARARA...

haha, but your pics came out nice, mashAllah

[nooni]

Originally Posted by Spice

I think its a desi thing for the inlaws to want their bahus to be all decked out and look bang bang. I know for my brothers engagment, we got the sister in law a ton of jewellery, including her set, a bunch of rings, and a set of choorian. And she was expected to wear it all on the engagment. Its a given the entire city will be talking about how much gold (insert family name) gifted their new bahu, so the upper crust usually makes it a point to do the whole smashing jewellery and clothing thing.
Though my brother is not a fan of too much jewellery and was a little weirded when we went the whole 9 yards. I think the total gold we got her was 300 grams, and the poor girl was weighed down by it. Though I'm sure she wont wear it all together after the shadi, because thats a little funky, but the engagment and shadi are big on gold jewellery.

Alhamdulilah.

arabs do the same thing unfortunetly

[onetspvanilla]

i can't wear jewelry for more than 2-3 hours max. even my wedding ring and band, i only wear when i go out; i'm just fussy like that. soooo it's probably a good thing that my husband's not a fan of jewelry and doesn't mind me living in yoga pants & sweatshirts
the only time i have issues is when my grandmothers delicately raise an eyebrow if they see me without any gold at all or a question from my MIL before a davat like "oh those jhumka/whatever that you wore on your shaaadi/walima were so pretty, weren't they?" as a hint to please remember to add jewelry to already blingbling heavy outfit.

even though in my mind, heavy jewelry = simple outfit with minimal kaam and light jewelry = fancy kaam'ful outfit that already has enough sparkle as it is

btw, has anyone noticed how crazy the price of gold is now?! i glad for my parents & inlaws that i got married back when prices were still decent.

Originally Posted by sumiyia

though sometimes its reasonable, other times its a bit much... like when you're going to some ordinary dawat at someone you don't even know, and everyone else gets to wear shawlar kameez while you wear a frikkin GHARARA...

hahah, sumiyia summed it up perfectly. WHAT GIVES YO?? i thought the staring and gawking ended when one walked off the shaadi stage.

[jaani]

Originally Posted by Spice

Hmm, I went through them, is there any one you'd like me to look at specifically?

Jaani: Can you post yours?

I don't take pics of me. period. I take pics of others though I'm not photogenic, I don't think that I look all that good anyway, but sometimes I get "captured" by someone else's camera and I ask them to not post it up.....so ya, I'm a self-deprecating person

I'm really good at makeup because of years of practice, but the only thing I haven't mastered is foundation......I've a combo skin and I'm dark tan - seems like I'm getting darker every other day; 2 yrs ago, I was a different color - and I can't seem to find a good foundation that matches and makes my skin look flawless without caking it up....

so ya sorry but no pic to provide evidence

~j

Originally Posted by Timbit

Yeah, and I don't see anything wrong with it. We're talking about after the wedding though... not at the wedding. At the wedding, you obviously have to be all decked out.

It's one of the pros of getting married in my opinion. Like, there's certain jewellery only married women wear. My parents can get me all the jewellery they want, but they won't get me bangles, for example, 'cause they're like "No, that's for married people."

You obviously don't have to wear all of your wedding jewellery all the time, but certain pieces can be worn on a regular basis.
I'd hate if I weren't getting any use out of my jewellery at all. What's the point in having it then?

Really?!
My parents got me a set of 6-8 thick gold bangles/kada when I was only 13-14....maybe they were just saving up for my marriage

I've always loved saris, but my mom would never let me wear one because only married or of age girls wore them.........but I finally bullied her into getting me some and wearing them. My aunt in india loves me a lot and she sends me anything I ask her too, alhamdullilah

~j

[foozball]

i live in the middle of no where. when we go to events that require dressing up (very rarely) they are typically all family so..no one really cares how dressed up you are. i work...a lot. so i'm almost always in work/office attire. going from this life style to desi clothes.... heavy kaam desi clothes... jewelry... painted face.... can be a bit much. it's just not my style and definitely suffocates my comfort level. of course if this is something my MIL expects of me... at least when we are in public... I can play a the role for a while. (i.e. the 1st year when i'm supposed to look like a bride at all gatherings) but anything beyond that is asking too much. (especially in your case zakk, where mA you have 2 kids that require attention). i'm all for getting dressed up once in a while but I typically try to dress with crowd and not look like a christmas tree.

i think sometimes the way you carry and present yourself can far exceed how caked up your face, how jeweled out your neck is, or how blinding your attire.

*shrug* different strokes.

[onetspvanilla]

oh! i meant to post this today but i forgot.
just got a haircut, and i'm kind pleased with it. like this, but slightly longer in the back. anyway, the stylist might have "texturized" it too much or it could be that my hair is damaged to begin with.
any ideas on how to get supershiney sleek hair, either natural or in the form of salon products? and no pantene pro-v recs please, that stuff is horrible and just adds layer upon layer of waxy buildup that takes forever to go away if you use it regularly. i learned the hard way lol.

[Spice]

Originally Posted by AishaMysha

in my opinion its not how much gold you own or receive thats tacky, its when ppl show it off that makes them look paindu.

and being paindu is irrespective of any culture.

That makes a lot of sense. There should be a balance. Though I doubt most people wear anything to 'show off' themselves, its usually the family that wants to show them off. And in the desi culture, more often than not, its about your trophy dulhan against everyone elses (family/friends). There's competition for whose bahu is best dressed, and best looking in general.

Though God knows I'd never want to be in such a competition myself, I'd lose before the competition even began

i think sometimes the way you carry and present yourself can far exceed how caked up your face, how jeweled out your neck is, or how blinding your attire.

Thats true too, and it goes a long way.

Conclusion: Dress well, look hot, and make yo' mama-in-law proud

[sally]

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
there are a lot of lesbians and lesbian couples at my work. ive never been around so many gay people in my life.

there were these two women..and they looked alike and had the same last names..so i thought they were sisters cuz they were always together and talking, but it turns out they're married.

so im a bit disgusted cuz otherwise i have a pretty cool relationship with them...i mean, regular 'hey, what's up, how's everything coming along' etc..thank GOD i havent had to work with them.

today i wasnt working but i went to work out and i was leaving the locker room to go home so i threw my coat on and one of those women like, tried to touch/'pinch' me around my stomach/hip/side..it was supposed to be one of those play slaps you give people except i dont like being touched. or touching. random people. and i just found out she's gay too. and married.

i feel so violated. i almost froze in my spot.



note to self: keep lenghty distance from known gay people. continue hoping that women touched when required to work with them aren't gay. and as always. continue using 5 tons of hand sanitizer daily..even if it peels the skin off the palms.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

though sometimes its reasonable, other times its a bit much... like when you're going to some ordinary dawat at someone you don't even know, and everyone else gets to wear shawlar kameez while you wear a frikkin GHARARA...

That sucks.
See, you have to dress according to the occasion.

Originally Posted by jaani

[color="DarkOrchid"]

Really?!
My parents got me a set of 6-8 thick gold bangles/kada when I was only 13-14....maybe they were just saving up for my marriage

I've always loved saris, but my mom would never let me wear one because only married or of age girls wore them.........but I finally bullied her into getting me some and wearing them. My aunt in india loves me a lot and she sends me anything I ask her too, alhamdullilah

~j

Yeah... my parents think gold bangles are just for married women.
They're okay with saris though. *shrug*

Originally Posted by foozball

I can play a the role for a while. (i.e. the 1st year when i'm supposed to look like a bride at all gatherings) but anything beyond that is asking too much. (especially in your case zakk, where mA you have 2 kids that require attention). i'm all for getting dressed up once in a while but I typically try to dress with crowd and not look like a christmas tree.

i think sometimes the way you carry and present yourself can far exceed how caked up your face, how jeweled out your neck is, or how blinding your attire.

*shrug* different strokes.

Yeah, definitely for the first year, when you're a newlywed.