[Salika]

I got a facial at a spa with Aveda stuff. Let's see how it goes. I had a 30% glycolic peel.

Man I'm tired though!

[thejellymill]

Originally Posted by caffienetime

when i was making the account, i must have typed fast and gotten a typo. so yeah. now i have to spell it wrong everytime to get into islamica

that's funny. typos suck

in other news i'm stuffed so full i can't sit up comfortably, i have to stand or lie down. i cant believe how much my stomach shrank, before Ramadan i would just be starting to feel full. i feel gross, like i'm going to explode. i don't think this is halaal

[Salika]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

that's funny. typos suck

in other news i'm stuffed so full i can't sit up comfortably, i have to stand or lie down. i cant believe how much my stomach shrank, before Ramadan i would just be starting to feel full. i feel gross, like i'm going to explode. i don't think this is halaal

Same here. I had a small portion food yesterday, like really equal or even less what I eat before Ramadan and no joke, literally almost threw up.

[sumiyia]

i'm having the same problem... except i can't fast. i can't eat more than like a palm-sized portion of anything now.

[thejellymill]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

i'm having the same problem... except i can't fast. i can't eat more than like a palm-sized portion of anything now.

how are you feeling though? is it getting any better at all? if you dont mind my asking, what kind of treatment do they put you on for hep A and did you ever figure out where you got it?

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

how are you feeling though? is it getting any better at all? if you dont mind my asking, what kind of treatment do they put you on for hep A and did you ever figure out where you got it?

it's gotten much better alhamdulillah. now i only get a little bit sick when i eat food.

they don't really put you on any treatment. i guess you're supposed to just get over it and develop an immunity. you're supposed to avoid foods that are hard for your liver to deal with though, including ceretain painkillers. oh and no, i never found out where i got it..

i've been at my mommy's for like a week now. she's nursing me back to good health.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by farah

your premise is definitely understood -- inshaAllah we'll be rewarded for all the pain that we endure in this life. however, to use your analogy, if we're sick and there's a remedy available, we must take it. Allah swt has entrusted us with our health, lives, bodies and minds and it's incumbent upon us to take care of those things. we (as muslims) are not a people who are supposed to sit back and take whatever abuses are put on us -- we have our rights and we've been given means to ensure that they won't be trampled on; and if they are, then we have ways to deal with it.

however, that's not to say that i necessarily look down on women who stay in abusive relationships -- i understand that it's an extremely sticky situation. i'm just arguing against the notion that one of the things we can use to justify staying in an abusive relationship that harms you is islam.

Excellent post.

Originally Posted by Shivermetimbers

Giving this concession doesn't constitue the condoning of abuse.The absence of this concession would make an abused woman's situation even worse. Abuse is grounds for divorce, but I doubt a woman going down that route would even seek this concession, whereas a woman who might seek to resolve conflict (for a myriad of reasons) might.

Sure, she would seek this concession. To avoid conflict about food while waiting to get divorced. It's not a solution though. If he's abusive, he's going to find things to be abusive about.

Originally Posted by Shivermetimbers

The scholar's first duty is to list her options to her. And this is one of her options. Then counsel both her and her husband. This woman may not have many feasible alternatives, and "mufti sahib" isn't going to provide for her/her kids/provide her with lodgings and so on.

This is an option, yes, but not for the longterm. It's our job as a community to provide the feasible alternatives, so women don't have to stay in crappy, violent situations.

Originally Posted by Salika

From a legal perspective, it's avoiding the issue. The person asked a question and the person wants an an answer.

Okay, so you give them the answer. But our scholars are also counselors, and if they're sensing that there are larger problems in a marriage, then I think it's their responsibility to deal with those.

Originally Posted by heba

i think im leaning towards agreeing with timbit. shes right; instead of saying oh, do this so he doesnt hit you..we should be telling these women they shouldnt be in a relationship like that...

Exactly. Though instead of telling somebody they shouldn't be in an abusive marriage ('cause that's blaming the victim), you have to work to see what it is exactly that's preventing them from leaving.


EDIT: I thought Caffeine was a boy because it says Brother. Stop doing that, people.

[Salika]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Okay, so you give them the answer. But our scholars are also counselors, and if they're sensing that there are larger problems in a marriage, then I think it's their responsibility to deal with those.

But how do we know what the question was to begin with?

Q: Can I taste food when fasting?
A: Only if your husband is oppressive. (and maybe her husband was not)

vs.

Q: My husband is oppressive, can I taste the food?
A: Yes.....

In the fiqh books, it just lists rulings. You can't expect a tangent about marital relations in a section about the fiqh of fasting. I see your point, but we don't know what the original situation was to begin with.

But if you like the Shafi opinion better, where no husband is mentioned and it's makruh, then just be Shafi... c'mon, you know you want to

[thejellymill]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

it's gotten much better alhamdulillah. now i only get a little bit sick when i eat food.

they don't really put you on any treatment. i guess you're supposed to just get over it and develop an immunity. you're supposed to avoid foods that are hard for your liver to deal with though, including ceretain painkillers. oh and no, i never found out where i got it..

i've been at my mommy's for like a week now. she's nursing me back to good health.

awww that's sweet mashallah . I hope you feel better real soon . I wonder if they still let it run its course if someone is pregnant and have hep A. My mom had it with me. I've heard that once you develop a hep A immunity, you can still get hepatitis B and C easily.. is that true?

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by Salika

But how do we know what the question was to begin with?

Q: Can I taste food when fasting?
A: Only if your husband is oppressive. (and maybe her husband was not)

vs.

Q: My husband is oppressive, can I taste the food?
A: Yes.....

In the fiqh books, it just lists rulings. You can't expect a tangent about marital relations in a section about the fiqh of fasting. I see your point, but we don't know what the original situation was to begin with.

But if you like the Shafi opinion better, where no husband is mentioned and it's makruh, then just be Shafi... c'mon, you know you want to

No, I like being Hanafi.
Uh, 'cept for the whole gender roles thing which I don't follow.

But in any case, I think we're making it needlessly complicated.

My point was simply that we shouldn't encourage women to stay in violent domestic situations and that we should do everything possible as a community to provide escape routes for them and to ensure their safety.

EDIT: I need to get my eyebrows done. Is it extra haraam in Ramadan?

[sumiyia]

i think everyone pretty much agrees about the whole domestic violence + fasting + tasting + scholar counseling thing.


my dad is flying back in from pakistan tomorrow. my mom is running around making herself pretty.

[Asvi]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

i think everyone pretty much agrees about the whole domestic violence + fasting + tasting + scholar counseling thing.


my dad is flying back in from pakistan tomorrow. my mom is running around making herself pretty.

word.

awww..so cutee

i'm tired from today's fasting and cooking. i was so thirsty today.

[caffienetime]

Originally Posted by Timbit

No, I like being Hanafi.
Uh, 'cept for the whole gender roles thing which I don't follow.

But in any case, I think we're making it needlessly complicated.

My point was simply that we shouldn't encourage women to stay in violent domestic situations and that we should do everything possible as a community to provide escape routes for them and to ensure their safety.

i like being hanafi too! *high five*

i just want to say, and i think you guys will agree with me on this one, the main reason women stay in abusive relationships is because talakh is deemed as an extremely bad thing in our society and usually ruins the woman's life ie men usually dont want to marry divorced women.

EDIT: I need to get my eyebrows done. Is it extra haraam in Ramadan?

i have never gotten my eyebrows done

[heba]

does anyone have any sources or proof about this tasting if husband beats u thing?? im searching but i cant find it