Female Personal Hygiene

[Asvi]

my hubby started paying for me while we were engaged, and i told him not to but he said i could pay him back. (never did..hahah) he'd pay for my cell phone bills and my wisdom teeth extractions cuz i didnt have insurance. but now he pays for everything except food, i pay for that. i think it works out cuz while he's financially helping me, i'm doing the cooking,cleaning,taking care of him, and paying for food. it is weird in the beginning, but then you get use to it and its not like you're not helping at all. ya know?

[foozball]

Originally Posted by Salika

Haha Timbit...

Anyways, so married ladies, question.... white font font white wont white font .... jk, it's not like that

Ok, seriously, now that I'm getting closer to my wedding date and all (3 months and 10 days!), I was thinking... how weird it is that this new man is going to pay for like... everything basically. It was weird enough the first day he bought me coffee right after our nikkah (I offered to pay for mine haha) but now it's like .. medical bills, phone bill, car insurance, etc... I was telling this to my husband yesterday and he was like "well, ya, I'm your husband, that's my job." I felt bad and offered to get a job so I don't feel like a complete leech and he advised against it since I'll be in school. Alhamdulillah he doesn't care if I work or contribute financially at all. I mean I know it's not like he's not getting anything out of it. I'll be cooking for him, looking after his house, etc but still, I'm only used to my dad paying for stuff and... it's weird now that's gonna change. Thoughts?

I wasn't even used to my dad paying for my stuff. Not for a good 4-6 years at least. It's a weird and awkward transition but eventually iA you become comfortable in your roles. Alh, my husband knew i was really apprehensive about it. He refused to let me have me own account and I'm glad he did so I could get over it. You just realize you each bring different things to the marriage and you try to do your part. Marriage in general is just so awkward at first. Really having a strong, caring, and perceptive husband makes a huge difference.

[foozball]

Originally Posted by Asvi

my hubby started paying for me while we were engaged, and i told him not to but he said i could pay him back. (never did..hahah) he'd pay for my cell phone bills and my wisdom teeth extractions cuz i didnt have insurance. but now he pays for everything except food, i pay for that. i think it works out cuz while he's financially helping me, i'm doing the cooking,cleaning,taking care of him, and paying for food. it is weird in the beginning, but then you get use to it and its not like you're not helping at all. ya know?

haha my husband paid for my cell when we got engaged too. He said it was way cheaper than him going over his minutes every month. We were on different plans/carriers so he added me to his plan. I lost the cell number I had since 1999. I sacrificed so much for him

[Asvi]

Originally Posted by foozball

haha my husband paid form y cell when we got engaged too. We were on different plans/carriers so he added me to his plan. I lost the cell number I had since 1999. I sacrificed so much for him

me too..i had verizon and he had t-mobile. then i switched to t-mobile, i abandoned my family. lol

[sally]

Haha, that's soooooo adorable you guys. MashaAllah.

My good friend had t-mobile forever but recently after getting engaged, her fiance added her to his family plan..which is Sprint. We hated on her for a while cause all of us friends have t-mobile and now we won't waste daytime minutes on her

[afrakabob]

so what happens if you make more money than your husband? or if he's still in school when you're out?

[Asvi]

Originally Posted by afrakabob

so what happens if you make more money than your husband? or if he's still in school when you're out?

then you pay for everything..

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by afrakabob

so what happens if you make more money than your husband? or if he's still in school when you're out?

Then you pay the bills.

It really just depends on your financial situation. I'd be okay with any of those situations... him paying all the bills (if I'm not working, or even if I am but he wants to anyway 'cause that's a source of manhood for him ), or me paying them all if he's not working, or both of us splitting them or him paying for necessary expenses and me paying for extraenous ones or whatever. You just do what you gotta do.

I don't think of my money as mine alone and I wouldn't want my husband to think of his money as his alone. Right now, I'm not used to anybody else paying for things, but I don't think it'd be awkward to make a transition. Getting married and everything that entails is a transition.

EDIT: I'd still want my own account, 'cause I wouldn't want my husband to be able to see how much money I spend on some things. Ummm... like presents for him. My parents have their own separate accounts but they still share their money. My mom doesn't work anyway, so it's not like she has her own source of income. But my dad's money is her money.

[afrakabob]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Getting married and everything that entails is a transition.

, i read that as "Getting married... is a transaction"

[Salika]

Thanks guys. You guys have such cute stories masha'Allah I guess it'll just take some getting used to. Alhamdulillah he doesn't seem me as some kind of leech or that I'm obligated to give back in that sense (especially when I'm in school). He really just sees it as his responsibility. Then again, there are a lot of things he won't have to worry about it when he's working, like stuff that I'm take care of.

He is a bit more a traditional mindset in terms of splitting roles (though he's cool with me working as long as it doesn't interfere with the family life, he did want a wife with higher education). For example, he prefers that even when I do work, I'd be home before him, especially when we have kids. I can't blame him. But by the time I finish school we'll probably start starting a family anyway... once I get used to have having a rug rat, I can work part time or from home or volunteer in the community insha'Allah then when they get older I can expand.

And I think my dad is weirded out too that someone is going to be paying for his daughter. He was like ... you know I'll still support you, haha. I actually thought about getting a job now, but with 5 classes, it would be near impossible...

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by afrakabob

, i read that as "Getting married... is a transaction"

And I've argued before that it is.
But I don't really feel that way.

[foozball]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Then you pay the bills.

It really just depends on your financial situation. I'd be okay with any of those situations... him paying all the bills (if I'm not working, or even if I am but he wants to anyway 'cause that's a source of manhood for him ), or me paying them all if he's not working, or both of us splitting them or him paying for necessary expenses and me paying for extraenous ones or whatever. You just do what you gotta do.

I don't think of my money as mine alone and I wouldn't want my husband to think of his money as his alone. Right now, I'm not used to anybody else paying for things, but I don't think it'd be awkward to make a transition. Getting married and everything that entails is a transition.

EDIT: I'd still want my own account, 'cause I wouldn't want my husband to be able to see how much money I spend on some things. Ummm... like presents for him. My parents have their own separate accounts but they still share their money. My mom doesn't work anyway, so it's not like she has her own source of income. But my dad's money is her money.

I tried to use that line to convince him to give me my own account but he's too chalak. We have a few different accounts but our paychecks are pooled together.

[afrakabob]

im eating vanilla wafer cookies. you know, the kind with cream between each layer.
the cookies are making a mess, and they taste fake

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by foozball

I tried to use that line to convince him to give me my own account but he's too chalak. We have a few different accounts but our paychecks are pooled together.

But then he can see the pricetag on everything that you buy.
I wouldn't want my husband to yell at me when I buy really expensive things.

[Salika]

Originally Posted by afrakabob

im eating vanilla wafer cookies. you know, the kind with cream between each layer.
the cookies are making a mess, and they taste fake

I read that as "vanilla flower" cookies and I was like whoa.. creepy yaar!