how to come out of the closet to your family

[sally]

i'm kidding about the gay part

and no it's not a boy. life is not about boys, alhamdulillah

what are some ways and approaches and techniques and strategies and such that you have utilized and implemented in order to break news to your family? like something you think they would be like OMG WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

funny stories appreciated but this thread is mostly serious. wait, never mind, this is islamica. forget serious

[Ilikemyscarf]

what do u wanna tell them?

[sally]

Ilikemyscarf said

what do u wanna tell them?

my bank account is overdrafted and i got into a study abroad program and i already bought the tickets

no, i'm mostly kidding

and bored with life

did anyone ever read that joke about how chelsea clinton announced to her parents she voted for gore? aaahahaah!

[displaced]

you have to do it in a public area where they'd be too embarrassed to make a scene and cannot throw things at you.

[Summers]

"okay mom, before we start this, I just wanted to make it clear that HE'S MEMON!"

[IbnMardhiyah]

displaced said

you have to do it in a public area where they'd be too embarrassed to make a scene and cannot throw things at you.

you have to understand how a desi mom [or dad] would respond in a public place - they'd simply just glare at you in a really cold hard glare and mutter under their breath:

"ghar jaa ke tumhara demakh duroust karoon gee"

which means "i'll clean your mind / brain out when we get home" but really it means you're going to have the crap beaten outta ya

[vegetables]

id email my siblings and let it trickle down to the foundation

[Saja]

Public places wouldn't stop my parents from putting me in check (not that I need it ). Even if they toned it down, "the look" would be enough for me to want to disappear.

Keeping your cool (as the child) is number one. If you act like an immature teenybopper, they'll discipline you like one and won't take you seriously. Having everything in your head planned out helps for when they have a rebuttal. Parents are pretty predictable, so when you're organized and know what to say, you won't sound as stupid.

Also, of course, making loads of du'a always helps; for Allah to make your task easier, your parents more understanding, and for the best outcome. Musa's (as) du'a before approaching Fir'aun comes to mind.

I remember my sister told my parents that she was about to drop a few classes (that she was failing), ready to change her major (again), and just totalled her second car, at the hospital right after she got into a car accident. They couldn't freak out after she was "traumatized" at the hospital. A part of me still thinks that she had it all planned out...

[afrakabob]

when i have to break big news to my family, i usually am really freaking anxious in advance. just thinking about it will make me start losing my breath and cause my heart to start racing out of control.

my philosophy is that if i feel like that, my body is telling me it's not ready. so i wait till a moment (which will inevitably come) when it seems right. usually i'll have shared a close moment with them right beforehand, and right then whatever the news is just sort of flows out naturally, minus anything resembling a panic attack.
one time for example, i had just prayed salat with my mom. it was right after salat, and we were just sort of sprawled out around the prayer rug being lazy, and then what i'd been fearfully anticipating telling her for the last 4 months came out easily.

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

My mom is pretty cool alhamdulilah.. so I just tell her...

[sally]

Spice said

"okay mom, before we start this, I just wanted to make it clear that HE'S MEMON!"

that's not going to work..BUT HEY, THANKS FOR TRYING ANYWAYS

iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu said

My mom is pretty cool alhamdulilah.. so I just tell her...

my parents are pretty cool as well, alhamdulillah.

i was just wondering what people do in these situations. it's not always easy. like i have a really good friend who's arab who might be really considering marrying a desi guy and her mom would pretty much flip. and i assume if word gets to her anytime soon, my other friend and i are going to be 20 questioned by her mom she's been contemplating ways to break it to her

[Raeesa]

hmm yr rite everyones parents are different.. n i think every kid is more aware of how to break the news and wat reaction theyre gonna get better than we no theyre situation

with me... i kinda hint thins around for ages like hmmm i'm thinking, i dunno if i shud sorta comments even tho i'm serious about wat i'm doing and i've practically made the decision... then over time just come out with wateva it is..

obviously its much harder wen its a hugely serious thing with major consequences.. but one thin i do know is sudden abrupt news doesnt go down too well and theres nothing out there if its that important which doesnt deserve some time to let them know.

[ShotgunMessiah]

Include a bit of backstory. Whether it's something good or bad that I'm breaking to my family, I will sort of lead up to it. By the time I finally get to the point, they usually know what I'm going to say or at least it isn't too big of a surprise.

Example:
Last night, I was telling them about how my manager had selected me to go to Chicago for work. I led up to it by telling them the situation with the Chicago building and detailing the work that needed to be done, which is exactly what I do.

[Jaysh]

Lie.

Just kidding.

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

don't. just let ur mum find the bill