Honoring our parents every single day...

[Hisham]

Once I was speaking with a pious individual of the locality and he was mentioning to me that majority of time that people disobey their parents is because of their friends and peer pressure. Most of us know the rights of parents in Islam. What I am about to write is something I observed but not necessarily it would apply to everyone.

We all have friends. Sometimes our actions with our friends are better than our actions with our own parents. This would be clear hypocrisy on our part. Whenever, we meet our friends, we smile and jest with them. But when we are with our parents, we keep the conversation to a minimum.

Recently, my sister had a baby. I saw first hand as to what a parent goes through in raising a child. The mother wakes up in the middle of night because the baby refuses to go to sleep or its time to change the diapers of the baby. All of this is done by the mother or even the father with no grudges but done happily.

Another example that comes to my mind is if a friend buys me lunch. Naturally, I would be grateful to him and think high of him as a generous individual. I will never forget his favor on me and maybe, I would end up doing tens of favors to him in return. For this, I might think of myself as a pious and generous person. But have I ever wondered how many years my mother has made me lunch for free. The love and compassion with which she prepared food for me. The worry and concern she would have if I ate the food or not. Let’s not forget my father who spent thousands of dollars on me. Yet I am ungrateful to both of them. The mental, physical and financial challenges that our parents have faced in raising us are numerous to mention.

I personally had a lot of good friends. Some of these friends tried their best to guide me to the straight path. But I can attest to this that those same friends came and went. Now, we have lost complete contact. This is not because those individuals were not good people but because of individual circumstances such as they moved etc. But for most of us, our parents have always been there for us. And to this day, they have concern for us.

I was talking to one friend who said jokingly if he had kids he would want them to get high marks while he himself was doing poorly in school. Sometimes the major complaints that I hear from students is that our parents have really high academic expectations. But which parent doesn’t. If that is the case, we should strive to get good marks. Let’s not forget what Muhammed (saw) said, "They are your heaven or your hell i.e. earning their pleasure is a means of gaining jannah and earning their displeasure is a means of entry into hell."

Sometimes our parents might not even show appreciation when we are doing what they want us to do. But still we should try our best to make them happy since making them happy makes Allah happy. And that would require great deal of taqwa and sincerity. The only condition in which we are to disobey our parent if they ask us to go against Allah and his Messenger (saw).
When you pass by the magazines near the counter in the shopping mall, you see titles like, ‘How to make your friends envy you?’, ‘How to make your girlfriend adore you?’ and all that filth. Have we ever seen a list of how to make our parents happy?

I thought of a short list through which we can make our parents happy:
1. Never ever be louder than them in speech.
2. Never be sarcastic.
3. We should apologize to them even if we make the slightest mistake.
4. We should hug them often. [Do not let your ego stand in the way to show your parents that you care. Abu Hurairah (rad) said: The Prophet (saw) kissed Hassan ibn Ali and Aqra ibn Habis said: ‘I have 10 children and I have never kissed any of them.’ The Prophet (saw) said, ‘He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’”(Agreed upon)]
5. We should buy them things to surprise them even if it is an inexpensive thing.
6. We should take them out sometimes just like we go out with our friends. Take them out for a drive.

(If you have benefited from this article, I ask you to sincerely raise your hands and pray for me and send it to others)

[the_only_one]

Jazaki ullahu Khairan for the great reminder. may Allah grant us patience in dealing with unordinary parents. having said that, i love my parents though.

[the_only_one]

Great examples: One example that comes to my mind is: some animals, such as the sea turtles, produce enuff offspring that even without protection or care enough will survive to adulthood to continue the speices. but other species US, humans, produce few young ones, but we need extensive care from our parents until we are self-sufficient. subhaAllah if it wa snot for our parental love and nurishments we would not have survived..



all this reminds of the famous hadith when it coms to Parental Obedience: where a man was told, having helped his aged mom with her tawaf around the Baytullah isnot enough. even if he carries her on his shoulders 70 more times around the Baytullah..it would roughly equivalent to his mother's one night's lost sleep..thus, we can't repay our parents for their kindness, nomatter what we do in this life for them wouldnt be enough!.

[AbuAlAbbas]

jazak Allah khair

[Haramoobobi]

Jazakullah Khair *.*
I just had a brilliant and wonderfully moving conversation with my mother about this--AWW!

[YOUSUFofSD]

Jazakullah khair Hisham for the reminder. Its always so easy to take for granted those that will always love and be there for you.

[TariqBinSleepin]

Jazak'Allahu Khairan, Really, this is a very good reminder to each and everyone. Will pass this on.

[HaveFaith]

jazakAllah khair, beautiful reminder.

[Haramoobobi]

Assalamalaykumwarathmatullhabarkauhtuhu

Say not even "Fie" to Parents

By: Dr. Ahmad H. Sakr
IslamiCity
IslamiCity.com - Say not even "Fie" to Parents

INTRODUCTION

In America there are many special days set aside to honor and
appreciate special people. Some of these are: Father's Day, Mother's
Day, Grandfather's Day, Grandmother's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day,
etc. We do realize the significance of these occasions and we
recognize the ideas, ideals, and philosophies of such days. We
appreciate the efforts of those who initiated these occasions for the
recognition and appreciation of special people.

As for the appreciation of parents, we admire the efforts of children
who remember their parents on such occasions by sending them greeting
cards and gifts. However, we hope that the appreciation is not for
one single day in a year, but for every day throughout the year.

PARENTS IN QURAN

A child should respect and appreciate his or her parents every day
throughout the year. Allah has asked human beings to recognize their
parents after recognition of Allah Himself. Throughout the Quran, we
notice that parents are mentioned with appreciation and with respect,
even if they are senile. In Surah Al-Isra' (Children of Israel) there
is a very beautiful description of how parents are to be treated.
Allah says:

"Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you
show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old
age with you, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak
unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission
through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did
care for me when I was young." [Quran 17:23-24]

The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Quran
eleven times; in every instance, Allah reminds children to recognize
and to appreciate the care and love they have received from their
parents. In the following verse, Allah demands that children
recognize their parents:

"We have enjoined on humankind kindness to parents." [Quran 29:8 and
46:15]

1. The demand for recognizing parents is made more emphaticly when
Allah says in the Quran:

"And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel,
(saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents..."
[Quran 2:83]

2. In Surah Al-Nisaa' (The Women) Allah emphasizes again that
children should be kind to their parents.

"And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show)
Kindness unto parents... " [Quran 4:36]

3. The same directive is repeated again In Surah Al An'Am (The
Cattle), where Allah says:

"Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your Lord has made a
sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and
that you do good to parents..." [Quran 6:151]

MOTHERS

Although Islam has clear directives to honor and respect both
parents, mothers are given particular gratitude and respect. This
attitude of Islam is understood if we realize the hardships and the
suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In this regard,
Prophet Muhammad said:

It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R) that a man came to the Prophet
and asked him, 'Who is to be close to my friendship?' The Prophet
answered:

Your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father, then the one
closest to your kinship, and the one after.

Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children even if the
parents are non-Muslims. Only if parents coerce their children
against Islam, then the children have the right not to obey their
parents, but they are still to be good to them. In this regard, Allah
says in Surah Luqman:

"And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents--his mother
beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two
years--Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is the
journeying. But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me
as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.
Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the part of him who
repents unto Me. Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you
what you used to do.--" [Quran 31:14-15]

MORE RESPECT

Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes immediately after
praying to Allah and before Jihad (struggle and striving in the way
of Allah). In this respect, the Prophet said the following:

Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (May Allah be
pleased with him) saying: I asked the Prophet , "which deed is more
liked by Allah?" He replied, "Prayers on time." Then I asked, "Which
one is next?" He said, "Goodness to parents." Then I asked, "Then
which one is next?" He said, "Jihad in the way of Allah." (Agreed)

In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and his
wealth are considered to be the property of the parents. In this
regard, the Prophet said:

Narrated by Aisha that a person came to the Prophet to resolve his
dispute with his father regarding a loan given to the father. The
Prophet said to the person, "You and your wealth are to your father."

FINAL REMARKS

We hope and we pray that all of us will respect our parents while
they are alive and even after they pass-away. You may honor your
parents after they die through the following methods:

Make daily Du'a (prayer) for them
Give a charity on their behalf
Institute a perpetual charity on their behalf - such as a Masjid, an
Islamic Center, an Islamic Library, an Islamic hospital, an
orphanage, a senior citizen's home, etc.
Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone to do so.
Read Quran on their behalf
Distribute Islamic Literature on their behalf
Let us pray to Allah that we will do our best to respect our parents,
to honor them, to be kind to them, to help them, and to please them
for the love of Allah.

O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us obedient servants to
you.

O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to our parents. Ameen.

[Nabisco007]

your post made me teary..I love my parents

[Jamroll]

I don't say "fie" to my parents, and I don't envsiage saying "fie" to them at any point.

If I were a giant I might say "fie", but not necessarily to them. I would say it in general. Fie Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.

[jaani]

Thanks for posting this

Whatever we do now is never enough love, care, and respect for our parents compared to what they did for us.......we should always strive to do more for them, Inshallah!

~j

[Bluestar]

search is your friend

[Blue_Phoenix]

Not all parents deserve respect.

[wheelworks]

Blue_Phoenix said

Not all parents deserve respect.

You still have to give it to them whether they deserve it or not. Why? Cause Allah Sez so...