[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by Aryan_

I may also throw in a joke that if she was good I would promote her to the bedroom.

But...If she cooks in the bedroom the bed might catch on fire or something...

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by Anderson

I wouldn't let my wife go out during the day time because she will become too dark, she has to remain atleast 2 shades higher than my own at any given time.

Insha Allah when you get married, I'm gonna get you a tanning bed for a wedding present

[onetspvanilla]

long, detailed marriage contracts can't save you in this situation either btw.
say you do get him to agree on you working whenever, and one day the situation arises that he doesn't like it and would like you to spend time with the kids/his parents/whatever reason. you could say that "no, it's in the marriage contract that i can work!" but obviously the outcome of that will leave one party resenting each other. i'm not saying not to have a good marriage contract, but realize that marriage doesn't work like business; whipping out that contract won't automatically make one spouse cease and desist anyway, insha'Allah khair may we all have happy, fulfilling lives (both at home and if we wish, professionallly) that bring us closer to our spouses.

[bluey]

Agreed. My friend had her 8-page marriage contract notarized. Damn right!

An 8 Page marriage contract?! Dang.

[gmk]

Originally Posted by bluey

An 8 Page marriage contract?! Dang.

That's right, fool!

[Arabesque]

Originally Posted by onetspvanilla

long, detailed marriage contracts can't save you in this situation either btw.
say you do get him to agree on you working whenever, and one day the situation arises that he doesn't like it and would like you to spend time with the kids/his parents/whatever reason. you could say that "no, it's in the marriage contract that i can work!" but obviously the outcome of that will leave one party resenting each other. i'm not saying not to have a good marriage contract, but realize that marriage doesn't work like business; whipping out that contract won't automatically make one spouse cease and desist anyway, insha'Allah khair may we all have happy, fulfilling lives (both at home and if we wish, professionallly) that bring us closer to our spouses.

I've dealt with the case of one fat, hairy Syrian guy with a double-chin and a huge belly (sorry, I had to just say that - it's OK not to be professional sometimes), who was married to a Bulgarian lady (non-Muslim). According to their contract, he had agreed to cover her tuition fees. When she finally asked him to do that, he refused. She took him to court. Thinking he could divorce her and not pay a penny, he was shocked to hear that he'd be allowed to divorce only after spending time in jail and paying up the amount he had promised in the contract. (Of course he changed his mind about the divorce at hearing that.)

So to think that spouses can get away with not sticking to articles mentioned in the marriage contract is a myth. There are severe consequences, at least in some Muslim countries.

I must add, I informed him of the judge's decision with a huge grin on my face.

[gmk]

There was a case somewhere in America where a Muslim guy tried to ignore the stipulation of his marriage contract that required him to give his wife a cash settlement if he divorced her. She took him to court, and won! It was a legally binding contract after all....

And *that* is why you should always get your contract notarized.

[heba]

to me, my career is extremely important. i dont want to throw away 4 years of stress and hard work at university, tens of thousands of dollars, and a professional certification for his sake.

so when it comes down to it, a compromise is definately going to be made. if i need to move somewhere for his job, i will make sure that i will be able to find a job there as well. there is no way in hell i will sit at home while hes out working beause we live somewhere that has absolutely no demand for my field.

(and vice versa)

[nooni]

Originally Posted by shadha

Lol and here I was thinking my 5-page marriage contract is too long.

Mine is actually only that long due to the fonts and spacing I used.


shadha-

double space, 1 inch margin, 12 font times roman numeral !!!

HOLLA!!

[onetspvanilla]

Originally Posted by Arabesque

I've dealt with the case of one fat, hairy Syrian guy with a double-chin and a huge belly (sorry, I had to just say that - it's OK not to be professional sometimes), who was married to a Bulgarian lady (non-Muslim). According to their contract, he had agreed to cover her tuition fees. When she finally asked him to do that, he refused. She took him to court. Thinking he could divorce her and not pay a penny, he was shocked to hear that he'd be allowed to divorce only after spending time in jail and paying up the amount he had promised in the contract. (Of course he changed his mind about the divorce at hearing that.)

So to think that spouses can get away with not sticking to articles mentioned in the marriage contract is a myth. There are severe consequences, at least in some Muslim countries.

I must add, I informed him of the judge's decision with a huge grin on my face.

yes, that's true that the legal consequences will be carried out; but who wants their marriage to end in divorce and/or discord? basically, what i'm trying to say is that if you tell your husband you want to work, and he doesnt want you to work, and you take out the marriage contract and say "see, i can work" -- that might give you the contractual green-light to work, but will it make him upset? resentful? angry? are these things you want in a marriage?
that's all i'm saying: that marriage contracts are wonderful for some situations (like the one you posted above) but for others, old-fashioned compromise and bargaining and back-and-forth have to be used to insure that all parties are kept happy.

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by nooni

double space, 1 inch margin, 12 font times roman numeral !!!

HOLLA!!

Garamond > Times Roman so dere

[Bluestar]

making a contract about whether you're allowed to work or not seems completely mind boggling. Why would your husband have a say on whether you're "allowed" to work and most importantly, if you can't trust him to not be overbearing, why marry him in the first place?

strange. I wouldn't even contemplate a husband "allowing" me to work. I would see myself as a complete equal to my partner because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter which one of us possesses which genitals; it matters on what sort of people we both are!

weird.

[Aryan_]

Originally Posted by Bluestar

I wouldn't even contemplate a husband "allowing" me to work.

Makes sense. If I was your husband I wouldn't contemplate allowing you to work either.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by Arabesque

I've dealt with the case of one fat, hairy Syrian guy with a double-chin and a huge belly (sorry, I had to just say that - it's OK not to be professional sometimes), who was married to a Bulgarian lady (non-Muslim). According to their contract, he had agreed to cover her tuition fees. When she finally asked him to do that, he refused. She took him to court. Thinking he could divorce her and not pay a penny, he was shocked to hear that he'd be allowed to divorce only after spending time in jail and paying up the amount he had promised in the contract. (Of course he changed his mind about the divorce at hearing that.)

Why would you wanna remain married to a man like that?

[Bluestar]

Originally Posted by Aryan_

Makes sense. If I was your husband I wouldn't contemplate allowing you to work either.

Well it's a good thing you're not then alhamdulillah.

That reminds me of the time i dreamt i got married to Jayshallah. I had to go out for milk and he had a huge problem with it and he wanted to carry me all the way to the shop. I was so glad when i woke up, my equivalent to a mild nightmare