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Old 04-13-2008, 06:08 PM
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Default Modern India still prays for boys

Modern India still prays for boys

By TIM SULLIVAN, Associated Press Writer
Sun Apr 13, 1:07 PM ET

Modern India still prays for boys - Yahoo! News

SINGHPURA, India - Standing in front of his small brick home, in a courtyard where the dirt has been packed down by generations of barefoot children, the middle-aged mustard farmer doesn't bother to hide his exhaustion.

"Only someone who has been through something like this can understand the size of my catastrophe," said Sukhpal Singh Tomar. For years, he has struggled to find some reason for his suffering, but has come up with little. He shrugged: "It must be my karma."

The catastrophe? His daughters — all eight — so many he sometimes stumbles over their names. But his wife, Shanti, never forgets, and the words spill from her like a breathless prayer: "Anu-Jyoti-Poonam-Roshni-Sheetal-Bindu-Chandni-Shezal."

They have been born in a country leaping headfirst into the globalized world but still holding tight to a preference for boys, enlarging an ever-widening gender imbalance in the second most populous nation on earth.

Tomar, 50, said his wife had also had three abortions. Asked if the intent had been to abort female fetuses, he looked silently at the ground.

"It would have been easier to have a son. Even just one," said Shanti, 38, whose stringy hair and worn skin make her look 20 years older. She's holding their youngest girl, 3-month-old Shezal.

Much has changed in this village since the Tomars' first daughter was born 19 years ago. Electricity arrived, and later the first cell phones. The number of tractors has quadrupled. Today, the village's girls attend the local primary school just like its boys.

"There's more money here now, and more education. But it's still in the back of everyone's mind: 'I must have a male child,'" said Madhur Gurhan, the obstetrician who runs the public hospital's maternity ward in Morena, the largest nearby city. "The money doesn't change that."

It has long been clear that India has a deep-seated preference for boys. By 2001, researchers estimated the country had anywhere from 20 million to 40 million "missing" girls from sex-selective abortions made available through the spread of ultrasound technology.

But as India modernizes — as places like Singhpura become small towns, as towns become cities and as India's once-overwhelming poverty is slowly supplanted by an increasingly educated middle class that wants fewer children — researchers say the problem is only getting worse.

"We're now dealing with attitudes that are spreading," said Sabu George, a prominent activist against the practice. "It's frightening what we're heading to."

While the next national census will not be done until 2011, giving a detailed overall picture, study after study has found an increasingly grim situation even as India's middle class grows.

While researchers once thought education and wealth would dampen the preference for boys, the reverse has turned out to be true.

According to UNICEF, about 7,000 fewer girls than expected are born every day in India. According to the British medical journal The Lancet, up to 500,000 female fetuses are being aborted every year. This in a country where abortion is legal but sex-determination tests were outlawed in 1991 — a law nearly impossible to enforce, since ultrasound tests leave no trace.

For a recent report, the group ActionAid sent interviewers to 6,000 households in five north Indian regions. In Punjab state, researchers found rural areas with just 500 girls for every 1,000 boys, and communities of high-caste urbanites with just 300 girls per 1,000.

Around Morena, in an increasingly urbanized part of Madhya Pradesh state, the 2001 census found a total of 851 girls per 1,000 boys — a number ActionAid found had dropped to 842.

Researchers say pressure for smaller families is the most immediate problem.

"Squeeze on family size is fueling the trend," said ActionAid researcher Jyoti Sapru. "For households expressing preference for one child only, they want to make sure it is a son."

If India is changing dramatically, the rationale for preferring boys remains fixed: Boys don't need the dowries that can cripple a family financially; boys stay home after marrying and help care for aging parents; Hinduism dictates that only boys can light their parents' funeral pyres.

Over the past decade, the government and aid agencies have spent millions of dollars on everything from poster campaigns to television ads to soap operas, all urging families to accept daughters. Governments have repeatedly vowed to crack down on clinics that perform sex-determination tests, yet these remain readily available.

Around here, they cost about $60, or five times the cost of a legal ultrasound. Prosecutions are extremely rare.

The number of lost girls is almost sure to increase.

India's growing middle class means far more people can afford ultrasound tests. Increased urbanization means easier access to the machines. And as family sizes drop, the pressure to have boys intensifies.

The statistics tell this story starkly: In 1981, when ultrasound technology was rare here, India had 962 girls for every 1,000 boys. That's roughly what nature dictates.

But by 1991, as ultrasound technology began spreading, 962 had tumbled to 945. Ten years later, it was 927. In some parts of the country, particularly parts of north India where the preference for boys can be traced back for centuries, the ratio plummeted.

What remains unclear are the long-term effects. Activists say the laws of supply and demand don't apply in the face of such powerful cultural norms — and the shortage of potential brides has done nothing to make girls seem more valuable.

"The girl is like someone else's property — she's going to leave one day," said Hema Singhal, an ob-gyn who runs a small medical center in Morena with her husband.

Tomar, a man drowning in daughters, is an aberration in his village.

"Look around, you don't see many other girls here," he said.

While no one will admit openly to having sex-selective abortions, the practice is clearly common. It's clear in nearby villages, where girls are rarely seen. It's clear in classrooms, where boys can outnumber girls by five to one.

It's very clear in the birth records in Gurhan's maternity ward, in a desperately underfunded and filthy government hospital, where nearly every day the newborn boys outnumber the girls.

Clusters of grandmothers stand outside the delivery room, waiting to carry their newborn grandchildren to the recovery rooms.

When it's a boy, their faces are lit with a protective gaze.

But if it's a girl the grimness is often palpable. And the mothers-in-law plod behind the mother's gurney, walking unlit hallways scattered with litter.
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Old 04-13-2008, 06:09 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

okay, so this is prevalent in India's Hindu's, but what about Indian Muslims? do they have a similar preference for boys? Any thoughts?
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Old 04-13-2008, 06:17 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

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Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo View Post
Asked if the intent had been to abort female fetuses, he looked silently at the ground.
I wonder if, in the sight of God, such abortions (with the explicit intent to avoid having a girl) are equal to the pre-Islamic practice of burying infant daughters alive.

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Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo View Post
okay, so this is prevalent in India's Hindu's, but what about Indian Muslims? do they have a similar preference for boys? Any thoughts?
Yes, plenty of ignorant Muslims do the same.

In countries all around the world.
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Old 04-13-2008, 06:18 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

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Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo View Post
okay, so this is prevalent in India's Hindu's, but what about Indian Muslims? do they have a similar preference for boys? Any thoughts?
I don't know about India, but I know it can be problematic in Pakistan, especially since Hindu traditions have (paradoxically) become more prevalent since partition, in some areas. Not only is the Hindu system of dowries becoming more prevalent, but it's led to similar attitudes towards girls. I've been told by many relatives (some of them with incredulous tones) that both my parents were overjoyed to have a healthy baby girl when I was born.

On the other hand, I have a cousin whose daughter was born a few weeks after me, and he apparently wept, not with joy but despair.
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Old 04-13-2008, 06:26 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

I don't know if it's just a Hindu thing... Arab women feel pressure to have boys although the pressure is not nearly the same as it used to be I think. In my generation, I don't hear anyone complaining or worrying about having boys though I think a generation or two back it was more important.

Amongst Syrian women I've heard the joke a couple of times "you can have 4 girls or one boy" basically implying that once you have a boy the pressure is off but if you keep having girls, you have to keep trying to get a boy. It's more jokingly though and I've never seen any younger women really stress about not having a boy.
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Old 04-13-2008, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

I think part of it also has to do with how financially stable the family is. If its a poor family, they really hope for a boy who can grow up and help them out of their mess - which is kinda ironic, since the father himself should look to what help he brought to his own parents when he was young, seeing as how he is still stuck in poverty.

If its a rich family, I don't think they mind so much.
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Old 04-13-2008, 08:11 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

no one is explaining why this is so. boy's have the responsibilty to take care of thier parents in thier old age. Or should something happen to the father, the son, even if he is a teenager is then responsible for taking care of his family. That's why boys are favored more over girls. Of course if a family has nothing but girls, then definantly they will at least want one boy. And having only one son in the family, also greatly increases his marriagabilty on the rishta market, since he will be the sole heir to his family land, family home, properties, businesses, assets (including his father's life savings after he dies) etc. The feminist media never discloses these things when writing about these stories, only to fuel propoganda for already overgrown bitter women, who already feel inferior about themselves, and blame it on being born a female etc. As you can see from this website, a desi girl can sit and demand rich wealthy men for husbands, some will attack anyone who dares to challenge those backward notions. So what is there to be upset about? If a family has all boys, then they will want to have at least one girl. Some families have only one boy and one girl, one of each and they are happy that way too. everyone is different and have thier different reasons. Male honor also plays a huge role in it. Many guys dont want to girls, especially if they live in the west, because they feel that if they have girls raised in this enviornment, will turn into a skank, or sleep around with different guys, etc. So b.s. male honor plays a huge role right there. If its acceptable for desi guys to view women as property who stick thier honor at stake, then why get upset when guys dont want babygirls? if you really want to get to the root of the problem, then get rid of b.s. notions of male honor and start treating everyone equally none of this b.s. about 'how dare you say that to a girl', what does being a girl make you any different or special, than if i say the exact same comments to a guy?
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Old 04-13-2008, 09:09 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

shut. up., idiot.
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Old 04-13-2008, 09:54 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

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blah blah blah, desi women are gold diggers, blah blah blah
The only thing I got from your post is that you thought that women are the root of all evil, that they deserve to be killed before they are born, and India is better off without them.

It must be so hard to hate women so much, and yet not be able to embrace your inner homosexual.
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Old 04-13-2008, 11:01 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

my grandparents are friends with a couple who had 8 girls before having a boy, and then they stopped having children

but like salika said, ive never seen this happen amongst any muslims (both arabs and non arabs) that i noe. everyone is always happy when the baby is healthy alhumdulilah
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Old 04-13-2008, 11:13 PM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

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shut. up., idiot.
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Old 04-15-2008, 05:54 AM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

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The only thing I got from your post is that you thought that women are the root of all evil, that they deserve to be killed before they are born, and India is better off without them.

It must be so hard to hate women so much, and yet not be able to embrace your inner homosexual.
maybe its you who secretly desire two guys and not with yourself either. i never said that they deserved to be killed, i simply explained why its going on, and thats because of the culture. its easy to dismiss it as saying that boy's are favored therefore this is why x and x occure's, which isnt the case at all, nor can you paint it as simple as in black and white. when you get rid of this cultural nonsense, of girls selling themselves off to the highest bidder, and putting all the responsibility of the parents solely on the boy, even people marrying thier daughter's off to guys, simply because he is the only son and sole heir, then and only then will you put an end to female infantcide. I thought i have made myself clear many times in my opposition to abortion. its murder and female infantcide is a clear example of that. but i guess its ok in the eyes of radical feminazis, when its only male infants who are aborted.

and surprise surprise, its only the feminists who are the biggest advocates of abortion. no wonder they are called feminazis. Where were all the radical feminists like gloria stienem when bill clinton was caught with monica? why were'nt they screaming for his head? because bill clinton supports abortion and thats why these hypocrites kept thier mouth's shut!
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Old 04-15-2008, 05:57 AM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

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my grandparents are friends with a couple who had 8 girls before having a boy, and then they stopped having children

but like salika said, ive never seen this happen amongst any muslims (both arabs and non arabs) that i noe. everyone is always happy when the baby is healthy alhumdulilah
and that was also the point i was trying to make there. many times when people have more kids of one gender, they stop after getting a boy or a girl, whichever it was that they were lacking in. of course to the feminazi moti here, she has to scream sexism at any turn and chance she can get.
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Old 04-15-2008, 06:21 AM
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Default Re: Modern India still prays for boys

Why is any female who disagrees with you automatically a "feminazi"?
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Old 04-15-2008, 07:55 AM
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