Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[shadha]

Automatica is hilarious. Gotta spread rep.


shadha-

[nooni]

Originally Posted by zakk

Me: Haneef, remember: you don't do pishi or potty in your underwear.

Haneef: what can I do in it then? Can I do gas in there?

Me:

[jinnzaman]

Originally Posted by zzze

asslaamu alaykum

The kids and I were sorting out their toys into-broken (bin), unwanted (charity), wanted (keep)etc.

(Baby) Esa found a small catapult.

Me: so, keep, throw away or charity?

Zak: keep!

Esa: No, charity! It could help the kids throw stones at the army!

Me: Esa...we're giving it to the charity shop not Palestine.

awwwwwwww.





Zak: throw away!

That is awesome. I want a son like Esa.

[zzze]

asslamau alaykum

timbit: he's 8 (the little baby of the family awww)

jinn: yeah, too much arab al jazeera in the background , I think. He's definitely cute mujaahid material- now queue in an orderely fashion aunties! He'll be ready in 13 years time insha Allah.

[Timbit]

Awwww. Yeah, they're still cute at that age.


Me to my baby today when he was playing this Phonics game: Okay, I think you should do D again.
Him: No, I know D. I'm going to do E now.
Me: Okay, what sound does D make then?
Him: Duh
Me: Okay, what sound does A make?
Him: Ahhh
Me: What sound does B make?
Him: Buh
Me: Great! What sound does C make?
Him: Fuh!
Me:

[plops]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Awwww. Yeah, they're still cute at that age.


Me to my baby today when he was playing this Phonics game: Okay, I think you should do D again.
Him: No, I know D. I'm going to do E now.
Me: Okay, what sound does D make then?
Him: Duh
Me: Okay, what sound does A make?
Him: Ahhh
Me: What sound does B make?
Him: Buh
Me: Great! What sound does C make?
Him: Fuh!
Me:

Hilarious.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by plops

Hilarious.

Are you being sarcastic?
I really thought it was funny, 'cause he insisted he knew D, but he didn't even know C.

Learning to read is going to be fun.


Has your signature been snipped by a mod??

[plops]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Are you being sarcastic?
I really thought it was funny, 'cause he insisted he knew D, but he didn't even know C.

Learning to read is going to be fun.


Has your signature been snipped by a mod??

Yes and yes.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by plops

Yes and yes.

Whatever. It made me laugh.

[Bluestar]

Rain: I can't believe you have Lolita and never read it
me: I have to get myself in the right frame of mind to read a book like that
Rain: Just read it, just pick it up and read it, just do it!
me: have you read it?
Rain: no

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

*me and my sister were in a fitting room trying on clothes*

Sister: Someone left some perfume in here..
Me: ooo what kind?
Sister: Paris Hiltons
Me: *takes it and sniffs* smells like wh*re
Sister:


ok I know that was wrong

[Bluestar]

Rain says:
slap me if i get distracted
Rain says:
ok
Rain says:
?
Raggamuffin says:
no man, this reminds me of the time i went to madrasah and my dad was saying to the maulana, "if she's naughty hit her, ok? I give you full permission to hit her"
Rain says:
LOLLL
Ragga muffin says:
dude if i ever thappar you, i want you to chop my hands off ok?
Ragga muffin says:
seriously
Rain says:
no way
Rain says:
*sniff sniff*
Ragga muffin says:
what, i'm meant to promise to slap you but you can't promise to chop my hands off if i DO slap you
Ragga muffin says:
what sort of friendship is that?!

Terrible.

[zakk]

Madiha: How come I can't feel the baby kick, but you can?

Me: The baby's too small for you to feel her from the outside a lot.

Madiha: Oh! And also your stomach's really squishy!

imma squish HER

[sally]

my brother is 12 and speaks relatively terrible urdu..also he has no idea about the difference between good and bad joking..esp in urdu

boys

but anyways he has this Quran teacher who comes over on weekend mornings and shes really nice. in fact i heart her for life mashaAllah. shes one of the coolest aunties EVER. so anyways my mom alwaysss serves her like whatever we have cuz she comes around lunch time

so today my brother was taking forever to make wudu and my mom and Quran teacher aunty were talking, and my brother comes back and is like,

AAP QURAAN PARHAANE aati hain ya khaana khane aur baatay karne?

lolllllllllllllllll so wrong. he didnt say it that loud tho so nobody heard him aside from me. i gotta educate the kid about whats proper and whats not *sigh*

[Blue_Phoenix]

It's six PM and I'm at the grocery store buying my dinner.

Me: Good morning!
Cashier: Do you have a Dominick's card sir? ............. Did you say good morning?!