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| Culture & Society Come here to talk about fobs, Canadians, hillbillies and whoever else lives in your neighborhood. |
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10-10-2008, 09:44 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Quote:
__________________
A companion of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The Prophet asked us to do seven things: to visit the sick, to follow funeral processions, to seek God's mercy for someone who sneezes, to return greetings, to help those who are wronged, to accept invitations, and to fulfill our oaths and promises." Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Hadith 625 
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10-11-2008, 12:45 AM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Friend: Don't rely on me to protect you. I'm really weak. And I scream like a girl.
Me: Haven't you survived a few muggings? Didn't you get expelled from high school for fighting? And didn't you punch that guy out recently? Friend who mishears me:  He punched out a girl?!Other friend: Yes. Yes, he did. He punched a girl in the face... a woman. A pregnant woman. Friend who misheard: Who had a baby in a stroller with her. Friend 2: And she was nursing another baby. Friend 3: While she was reading to blind children. Friend 1: No, she was blind herself. Friend: She was blind. A blind nun. Friend: Who he got pregnant. All those kids were his. Friend: And he wanted to deny it, so that's why he punched her out. Um, yeah. Quite the elaborate story there. Poor guy; he's getting a bad rap.  This is how rumours start. Other friend in another instance: Don't worry, I didn't do anything. Her virtue is as untouched as my gym.
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And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right (Qur'an 29:69).
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10-11-2008, 12:59 AM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Quote:
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 "Jesus (upon him peace) said, "The world is a bridge, so pass over it to the next world , but do not try to build on it."
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10-12-2008, 01:04 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Quote:
 I hang out with some funny people. Okay, this one is bad, so the people in question will remain anonymous... Anonymous Number One: How do fat people get married? Anonymous Number Two: Like everybody else? Do you think they have different masjids for them to get nikkahed in or something? Anonymous Number One: No, but like... who marries them? Anonymous Number Two: The qadi? He marries everybody!
__________________
And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right (Qur'an 29:69).
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10-12-2008, 01:24 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Blue Phoenix plays Taboo!
Card person: This is something you shout.... Me: Geronimo! Boo! (The word was "surprise.") Card person: This is a woman, kinda sleazy... Person: Hooker! Other person: Prostitute! Me: Ho! ****! *****! (The word was :bimbo.")
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We despise all reverences and all the objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our own list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us. Mark Twain
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10-12-2008, 01:28 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Quote:
"A lady of... ermmm...shall we say...negotiable...affection..."
__________________
And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right (Qur'an 29:69).
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10-12-2008, 03:51 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Quote:
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10-12-2008, 03:51 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Guy at MSA event: I forgot to iron my thobe
 Me: Yes, we can tell. *** My brother (RANDOMLY): Soooo baji, how's your job collecting trash from the school cafeteria working out for ya?
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10-15-2008, 09:47 AM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
A friend talking about graduating from college:
Another: Graduate, now why would you want to do that? Me: Seriously...undergrad is FOREVER! Friend: Undergrad is like . . . purgatory or something. Grr. Someone else: But purgatory no longer exists/never existed Another person: Purgatory still exists, they just shoot really bad westerns there now
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10-15-2008, 02:55 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
The other day, I was having lunch with my veryyy goth friend... She dresses in black from head to toe (we talkin' socks, make up, jewelery, even all her book bags, and of course clothes and shoes, basically every single thing)
And actually she's a really pale white person Anyways, we're talking and I heard a salaam from my right and I turn over and say 'walaikum salaam' and it's this black convert brother I recently met through friends... I heard he's pretty funny/witty but what I didn't know is that he speaks Urdu as well (the local aunties pretty much took him in with because he got so involved in the community) So he subtly looks over at my lunch buddy and goes to me, in Urdu, "Araaay dekho, wo kali" rather loudly (Hey look at that black girl...referring to the white goth girl) and I totally didn't see that coming so I cracked up...Pretty funny.
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10-16-2008, 09:52 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
my friends four year old had an apple picking field trip, the night before.....
friend: H, what would you like to eat for lunch tomorrow 4yr old daughter: i dont need lunch mama, im going to eat apples 
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nahnul haqu nahnu thawra ... ou homma as-hab al feel
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10-20-2008, 07:23 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
We went to a farm today for a field trip.
2nd grade boy: Teacher, why does that pig have so many boobs? It's gross! Me: What?!  2nd grade boy: Where is it borned from? Me: What do you mean? 2nd grade boy: Does the baby come out from the mouth? Me to my coworker:  you wanna take this one?
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10-20-2008, 10:00 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
while i was in class last week:
professor: ok this is due the day after you get back from fall break random girl: when is fall break? so i turned to the girl sitting next to me and said.. me: haha wow how can she not know when fall break is? ive been looking forward to it all semester! her: OH COOL YOURE GOING TO VEGAS??!! me: ...huh? Quote:
__________________
"The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to The Almighty can stand up to anything."
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