Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[Deel]

me: can my car be a two-door?
dad: no, two-doors will make our insurance go up.
dad: when you go to yemen, will you sell your old car?
me: if you let me buy a two-door when i come back
dad: people with two-doors are selfish.
me: *slaps forehead*
dad: no no, ask me why
me: whyyyy
dad: because the backseat is so small, how will they get out if you have an accident?

[cheesy0strawberries]

Your dad sound like he's fun at parties, but not anywehere else . Very funny hehe

[Purple_alien]

Originally Posted by cheesy0strawberries

oh my God Displaced I will never see tante redda the same way again. i had no idea that was French. ty! oooo I have one I have one!! But one thing you should know before reading this story is that I live in the very near vicinity of a masjid, and have for most of my lil life, and this is one of the congregants who knew me when I was a kid.

I was walking home from my friend's house one night around isha time, and when I discovered the front door was locked, I started to walk around to the back yard gate, and this guy pulls up in front of my driveway and says, "Ziggy! Salam alaikum" in that tone that men use when they are torn between the 7-year-old you and the 5'7" you. So I said hi how are you and all that Emily Post stuff and he asked if I'm "still in school" (a polite way of asking how old I am) and then it got better. He said I look "halal". I didn't know what to say, and I was terribly amused, so I mentally wrote that down in my little book of awesome phrases and I said good night.

That's what you get walkin around the ghetto around isha time. (who was he tho? Do I know him???)

[muslimahpower]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Why does a hospital have free parking? Valet, I can understand, 'cause people coming to the hospital might have mobility issues and stuff. But free valet parking? Most hospitals use parking proceeds to buy new equipment and stuff, no?

the hospitals i've seen around here have free valet maybe for those who need to rush in or something? not sure.

i found this cute...

at the masjid, i turned around after Maghrib jumat and heard a little girl talking to another little girl

girl: if your hair is showing, your namaz isnt qabool!!!

[jinnzaman]

Originally Posted by Deel

me: can my car be a two-door?
dad: no, two-doors will make our insurance go up.
dad: when you go to yemen, will you sell your old car?
me: if you let me buy a two-door when i come back
dad: people with two-doors are selfish.
me: *slaps forehead*
dad: no no, ask me why
me: whyyyy
dad: because the backseat is so small, how will they get out if you have an accident?

haha, ur dad's awesome.

[IbnMardhiyah]

So I walked into a convenience store today and saw some girl in her 20s standing with a young baby boy who couldnt have been more than three years old.

He looks at me and says "DADDY??!"

I freeze in my tracks trying to figure out if I've ever seen her [the girl] before. And then I go "uhh, what did he just say?"

she goes "daddy." in a matter-of-fact way, and then points behind me at a guy who was blabbing on his phone

I was like "whew. I know I've been careful, i dont need any kid standing up and claiming i'm his dad"

the girl and the cashier girl couldnt stop laughing for the next three minutes.

[Spice]

ha-ha-ha-ha... ha-ha

[cheesy0strawberries]

Originally Posted by Purple_alien

That's what you get walkin around the ghetto around isha time. (who was he tho? Do I know him???)

lol the ghetto around isha time is perfect memoir material, even beats an entire Irish childhood. This is one of the only secrets I've ever kept in my life, I would be mortified if someone told anyone I said something like that, sho I shall be the change I wish to smell in the world.

[cheesy0strawberries]

Rs. 500 wouldn't hurt though

[zakk]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

So I walked into a convenience store today and saw some girl in her 20s standing with a young baby boy who couldnt have been more than three years old.

He looks at me and says "DADDY??!"

I freeze in my tracks trying to figure out if I've ever seen her [the girl] before. And then I go "uhh, what did he just say?"

she goes "daddy." in a matter-of-fact way, and then points behind me at a guy who was blabbing on his phone

I was like "whew. I know I've been careful, i dont need any kid standing up and claiming i'm his dad"

the girl and the cashier girl couldnt stop laughing for the next three minutes.

Haneef went through this period when he was almost two where he would call every man he saw baba. I'd be walking through the masjid to drop off Madiha at school and he'd start running up to random men and yelling "BABA! BABA!"

He also used to run up and hug random men,

awkward.

[fatima]

Originally Posted by zakk

Haneef went through this period when he was almost two where he would call every man he saw baba. I'd be walking through the masjid to drop off Madiha at school and he'd start running up to random men and yelling "BABA! BABA!"

He also used to run up and hug random men,

awkward.

hahaha thats hilarious

[sally]

Sooooooooo, I dunno who else has CPS units or clicker thingys for their lectures. Basically it's a remote that has a wireless connection or something with the main computer that the professors using while you're in class...and they can track attendance with it, as well as put up questions for the class to answer in the middle of the powerpoint presentations and grade you on them. So it really sucks cuz you have to listen to everything they're saying and you can't slack. luckily I'm pretty smart so I do well even when I don't pay attention...COMMON SENSE FTW. :ego:

Like today I wasn't paying attention in my criminal justice class and I look up and suddenly there's a question we have to answer...and basically it went like this


Which of the following 3 are important steps in the blah blah procedure

1. X
2. Y
3. Z
4. All of the above

so I take one look at it and I'm like My eyes decieve me! So then pretty soon the whole hall is snickering and chuckling........ I think the Professor woman had no idea.... So I clear my throat really loud, hahaha, and I'm like, UHHHH IS THIS A trick question? and everyone cracks up..and she's like, no, not it's not!! I would never trick you guys...and everyone dies laughing some more.

So obviously the answer was D...everybody submitted it, she pulled up the graph thing up right after and EVERYBODY but one person voted for D. and then a few people were like, who's the idiot who chose C?


Ok it was funny when it happened.

[Timbit]

Currently, practically every single conversation in our house ends with "Don't make me take out my tool and pop you."

'Cause my siblings think violence is funny?

[caffienetime]

my sibs and i were driving home from school when we see this really HUGE guy.

my brother: ddaaaymmm look at that cop. he is so fat. how did he ever pass the physical?!?
me: they start eating donuts AFTER they become cops. duh.

[cheesy0strawberries]

Originally Posted by caffienetime

my sibs and i were driving home from school when we see this really HUGE guy.

my brother: ddaaaymmm look at that cop. he is so fat. how did he ever pass the physical?!?
me: they start eating donuts AFTER they become cops. duh.

Sounds a lot like marriage.