Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[afrakabob]

Originally Posted by khadeeja29

I used to think that, too. But apparently, names are picked from a list that has already been generated by the hurricane center.

edit: here is the list for 2008:
Arthur
Bertha
Cristobal
Dolly
Edouard
Fay
Gustav
Hanna
Ike
Josephine
Kyle
Laura
Marco
Nana
Omar
Paloma
Rene
Sally
Teddy
Vicky
Wilfred

Paloma? That means "dove." What kind of a name is "Hurricane Dove?" That's like an oxymoron.

[Timbit]

All the cracked out conversations lately have been Ramadan related.


A person who shall remain anonymous: You know haafizes can take people with them to Jannah? So if I marry him... it's gonna be me, it's gonna be me!


Another person who shall remain anonymous: Checking out the molanas 'cause they have mo' to offer.



Me: So where does he lead tarawih?
Anonymous person: Oh, at _______ Street Masjid.
Me: Where is that?
Anonymous: I dunno. I didn't ask.
Me: You should have. Pffffft. He can't even find a real masjid to lead tarawih at? It's probably just somebody's house.
Anonymous: Yeah, it's Allah's house.


Big bro: Can I use mouthwash while fasting?
Me: No.
Him: If I don't swallow it?
Me: Still, it's flavour!
Him: I think flavour is okay. Can you ask on Islamica, please? You guys probably already have a thread about it.

Ahahahhaha. Certain members of my family periodically read some of my posts on Islamica, then make fun of me for them. But when they need to know something, they're like "Ask on Islamica!" like it's full of scholars or something.

[ShahRukh]

Me at my friends house for dinner, sitting at the dining table with his 28 year old cousin and his 9 year old son.



Me: I have a side business. I wholesale all brand name shoes like Nike, Adidas, Puma, etc. to retail stores and some flea market vendors.
28yrOldCousin: Oh Yeah? I spend a lot of money on shoes. I probably need a pair.
Kid: Me too....

28yrOldCouzin: I go through a pair every 2-3 months...that sometimes I just buy a pair almost every week (obviously exaggerating his claim...afterall who buys shoes every week? )

Kidtohis28yearOldCousin: *In naughty mood* Yea, so what do you do so many shoes? Probably return them later on. *Giggles*

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[moonlightrose]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Big bro: Can I use mouthwash while fasting?
Me: No.
Him: If I don't swallow it?
Me: Still, it's flavour!
Him: I think flavour is okay. Can you ask on Islamica, please? You guys probably already have a thread about it.

but actually I was wondering about that too (toothpaste tho, not mouthwash)

Do we have a thread about it?

[zakk]

Haneef learned a new nasheed in pre-k.

Haneef: LASSI LIKE THE RAIN IS FALLING DOWN! LASSI LIKE THE RAIN IS FALLING DOWN!!!

Me: sweety, I think it's "mercy like the rain is falling down"

Haneef: NO! IT IS LASSI!!!!!!!





in the car:

Madiha: Did I already have chicken pox?

Me: no, you got the vaccine.

Haneef: Mama, next time you go to the store can you get me chicken pox? I never got ANY, Mama!

[sumiyia]

hahaha... i love your babies, zakk... mA so adorable

[Wolfn]

My mom sees me wearing my new shirt that says "1 Ummah"

Mom: "What is that"?

Me: "a shirt"

Mom: "take it off!"



Seriously, I envy those of you with Muslim families. You guys have no idea how lucky you are

[jinnzaman]

Originally Posted by Wolfn

My mom sees me wearing my new shirt that says "1 Ummah"

Mom: "What is that"?

Me: "a shirt"

Mom: "take it off!"



Seriously, I envy those of you with Muslim families. You guys have no idea how lucky you are

Its not that easy. My mom makes me take off shirts like that too. lol.

Welcome to the Official "Parents Ruining My Life" club.

[afrakabob]

-a Bengali friend of mine ("Nabila"), discussing a mutual friend ("Hud"), who is Kuwaiti-

Nabila: Hud is sooo nice to his little sisters. He spends all his money buying them gifts.
Me: Omg. You should try to be his sister.
Nabila: No... that would be complicated. His family lives in Kuwait. They would probably try to enslave me.

[Timbit]

Friend: He's religious, but he's the kind of religious we like.
Me: What kind of religious do we like?
Her: You know... he's an RIS Muslim, not a year-round Muslim.
Me: Heeeey, I like year-round Muslims. I am a year-round Muslim.
Her: Yeah, I'm just kidding... kind of.
Other Friend: What're you guys talking about?
Me: RIS Muslims.
Her (Friend B): Is that like a before-nightfall Muslim?
Me: What are those?!
Friend A (who apparently already knows about before-nightfall Muslims) No, it's very different!

Okay, also... people see my hijab and then feel the need to explain themselves a lot. It's really weird. A classmate of mine was telling me about a trip she's going to take.

Me: Oh, nice. Is your boyfriend going?
Her: Yeah, but don't worry, we're sleeping in different rooms. We don't sleep together.
Me: I wasn't worrying. Uh... that's really not what I was asking.
Her: Yeah, umm... I don't want you thinking badly of me.

Kind of sad that people equate hijabi with judgmental, no?

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by zakk

Madiha: Did I already have chicken pox?

Me: no, you got the vaccine.

Haneef: Mama, next time you go to the store can you get me chicken pox? I never got ANY, Mama!

Does the vaccine prevent you from getting Chicken Pox at all? I remember when I the chicken pox. I gave it to my dad who'd never had it before

[TrentReznor858]

Originally Posted by Timbit

A
A person who shall remain anonymous: You know haafizes can take people with them to Jannah? So if I marry him... it's gonna be me, it's gonna be me!

PLEASE tell me that person was joking.

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by TrentReznor858

PLEASE tell me that person was joking.

Ditto that. A hafiz could have just memorized the quran without knowing any tafseer. Is it any wonder that some Huffaz are wife beaters?

[TrentReznor858]

Originally Posted by wheelworks

Ditto that. A hafiz could have just memorized the quran without knowing any tafseer. Is it any wonder that some Huffaz are wife beaters?

Not what I am talking about, but close enough for government work.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by moonlightrose

but actually I was wondering about that too (toothpaste tho, not mouthwash)

Do we have a thread about it?

Why don't you make one?

Originally Posted by zakk

Haneef learned a new nasheed in pre-k.

Haneef: LASSI LIKE THE RAIN IS FALLING DOWN! LASSI LIKE THE RAIN IS FALLING DOWN!!!

Me: sweety, I think it's "mercy like the rain is falling down"

Haneef: NO! IT IS LASSI!!!!!!!





in the car:

Madiha: Did I already have chicken pox?

Me: no, you got the vaccine.

Haneef: Mama, next time you go to the store can you get me chicken pox? I never got ANY, Mama!

This kid is too adorable. MashaAllah. How old is he now?
It should be lassi. And I wish they'd had the chicken pox vaccine when we were young. Btw, I read somewhere that it wears off over time, so people need it more than once.

Originally Posted by TrentReznor858

PLEASE tell me that person was joking.

Ahahahhaha. No.
What? It's true!



My 5-year-old brother: Please don't wake me up at sehri time. I can't fast; I have school tomorrow.


My 4-year-old cousin: I know why you all fast!
Uncle: Why?
Her: So you can eat samosas at iftaar time!