Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[TrentReznor858]

Originally Posted by sally

oooohhh myyy godddd

soooooo my mom and i are in the kitchen..my bros on the laptop in the dining area...and we can hear everything hes watching on youtube...and then this video in urdu starts playing REAL loud..and just for that video my bro turned up the volume cuz he doesnt get urdu that well anyway...anyawys...two seconds later...THIS URDU CURSE WORD GOES OFF..

like teri maa ki something something (something really bad about your mom) i dunno how the actual word is spelled or whatever, not that id write it down...but OOOOOOOOOMG my mom flipssssssssssssss out and my bro was like, what? what happened..and im like AHHHHH THEY JSUT SAID THE F WORD IN URDU stop stop..and hes so confused

and my mom was like THATS IT. give me the laptop and go pray asr NOW! hahahahaha and my bro was really traumatized..

freaking ABCDs MAN.

meanwhile i was trying not to die laughing while icing the cake..so i just giggled to myself ahhahah

it was all just so random and wrong.

You are such a teenybopper it isnt even funny

[Bluestar]

haha, this isn't the exact convo but heck it was funny, in my defense, i was tired and had rice on the cooker!

me: meraj! are you there?!
meraj: yes
me: islamica has disappeared! Part of it is missing!
meraj: which part?
me: the bit next to Frequently Asked Questions!!!!
meraj: That's just the section i've added now, there used to be two forums?
me: oh ok.

[jinnzaman]

My sister and I got into an argument over taking expired medicine.

Me: Where's the tylenol? I've still got a fever.

Sister: (fishes it out and hands it to me)

Me: No, I'm talking about the new one. This one's expired.

Sister: So?

Me: Its been expired for two years! I'm not taking expired medicine!

Sister: You know people in Africa would probably fight to get expired medicine.

Me: People in Africa are probably dying because they aren't getting any medicine at all.

Sister: No, they're dying because they aren't taking their expired medicine.

Me: Huh? That makes no sense!

:PHAIL:

[RestlessSoul]

some of the people I work with were complaining about air travel these days:

person A: I hate those people who hold up the line at metal detectors by taking things off one by one. just remove everything that could have metal in it all at once!

person B: yeah really...or those people who still don't know you can't take liquids on board. I mean, where have you been for the last 5 years?

me: on the ground......

[PhDGirl]

Originally Posted by RestlessSoul

some of the people I work with were complaining about air travel these days:

person A: I hate those people who hold up the line at metal detectors by taking things off one by one. just remove everything that could have metal in it all at once!

person B: yeah really...or those people who still don't know you can't take liquids on board. I mean, where have you been for the last 5 years?

me: on the ground......

Hehe - I agree with your coworkers. I hate it when people don't know how to fly and aren't prepared with their shoes off and stuff.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by RestlessSoul

me: on the ground......

For real.


My friend: Hey! I'm a pervert, not a thief.


Another friend on another occasion: Well, I'm a pervert. I guess you didn't know.


I'm not providing context for those.

[afrakabob]

Friend: I like the idea of you hunting tigers while I just sit around.
Me: What if I got eaten by a woolly mammoth?
Friend:
Me: If I got eaten by a woolly mammoth, would you fight it?
Friend: Yes.

[amina9183]

my mom: we have to go to a wedding tonight. come with us.
my brother: no way I dont want to go
my mom: no you have to. I'll show you girls (for rishta purposes)
my brother: wth? no. i dont want to see girls!
my mom: ok fine..then i'll show you boys


..gay jokes are so much funnier when they come from my mom

[Sugarcore]

Contemporary Communications Lecture:

Professor: So when a person borrows their friend's textbook and makes a copy of every page... what's that called?
Class: Steeeeeealinggggg.
Professor: K so when someone downloads a song from their friend from the Internet... what's that called?
Student: Sharing?

Intro to Islam lecture:

A guest lecturer came in and talked about gender and Islam. The regular professor was present for this lecture as well. We were discussing this quote from the Qur'an that addresses the Prophet's wives: "And stay in your houses and display not your beauty like the displaying of the ignorance."

Guest Lecturer: So when talking about quotes like this, you really need to take into consideration the historical context and interpret it differently.
Male Student #1: But how would you interpret that differently? It pretty much tells it like it is...
Guest Lecturer: Well first off I would ask, how do you define beauty? Does it mean not wearing lipstick?
Male Student #2: Well actually from a psychological perspective, it is said that lipstick is used to ellicit sexual desires.
GL: Um... I was just using lipstick as an example.
Female Student #1: Yeah but that's just like me saying, I get turned on by men wearing Italian suits.
Regular professor: Happened to be wearing a suit, and started to giggle like crazy while covering his mouth.

Another Intro to Islam lecture:

Professor: So what defines a Muslim?
Student: Someone who believes in Allah, and that the Prophet, peace be upon him, is the last messenger of God.
Professor: So if you're gay, are you a Muslim?
Student: Well, yes.
*class starts to laugh*
Student: Well, yeah! You are. But, that doesn't mean you're going to heaven. But it also mean you're going to hell either. It just means you have some serious issues you need to deal with...

[Safia]

Originally Posted by Sugarcore

Contemporary Communications Lecture:

Professor: So when a person borrows their friend's textbook and makes a copy of every page... what's that called?
Class: Steeeeeealinggggg.

My African American History teacher called it hustling and approved .

[Timbit]

Sister: Baby 'cause in the dark, you can't see shiny cars! And that's when you need me there. With you I'll always shareeee
Me: Shiny stars?
Her:
Me: Does it go "in the dark, you can't see shiny stars"? 'Cause you can see stars in the dark.
Her: Shiny cars.
Me: Well, how does that make sense?
Her: It does, okay? It means poverty. When you're poor, you can't have shiny cars.
Me: But you can still see shiny cars.
Her: But you can't have them and you can't get in them.
Me: Um, okay. So when you're dark, you're poor?
Her: Yes.
Me: Wow, I think that's a sociological statement about the intersection of race and class. Who knew Rihanna could be so profound?
Her: You're gay.
Me: Your face.
Her: Your mom.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by Safia

My African American History teacher called it hustling and approved .

Um, that's kind of illegal, no? Just saying.

[sally]

im talking about gas prices etc..my bro interrupts..

me: quiet, child. you dont know anything about the state of the nation.

him: uhhh, i know everything there is to know about our economy.

me: right

him: i do. i know that it's DOWN in the dumps.

[caffienetime]

this morning, i woke, went up to my mom hugged her three times and said "Eid Mubaruk"
my mom was like, "khawab main eid bhi ho gayi?"

[caffienetime]

Originally Posted by Sugarcore

Professor: So what defines a Muslim?
Student: Someone who believes in Allah, and that the Prophet, peace be upon him, is the last messenger of God.
Professor: So if you're gay, are you a Muslim?
Student: Well, yes.
*class starts to laugh*
Student: Well, yeah! You are. But, that doesn't mean you're going to heaven. But it also mean you're going to hell either. It just means you have some serious issues you need to deal with...

ummm...actually if you are gay, you cant be muslim. thats like commiting shirk and saying you are a muslim