Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[zakk]

discussing the last name "Butt"

Hubby: wasn't one of your friends a Butt?

Me: Yeah. And Muneer Bhai used to be a Butt.

Me: But when he came to America, he took his Butt off.

Hubby:

Me:

[sumiyia]

Bro 1: *Dials another bro but forgot his name, talking to a friend* Dude, what the heck was his name again??

Bro 2: Uhhhh... Jahannum?

Bro 1: *Guy's mother answered the phone* Salaam aunty, is Jahannum home?

Aunty: What?? Who do you want to speak with?

Bro 1: Jahannum? *awkward silence* What's the name of your eldest son?

Aunty: Mohanad...

Bro 1: ... *awkward silence* May I please speak with Mohanad?

Aunty: hold on...

[caffienetime]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

Bro 1: *Dials another bro but forgot his name, talking to a friend* Dude, what the heck was his name again??

Bro 2: Uhhhh... Jahannum?

Bro 1: *Guy's mother answered the phone* Salaam aunty, is Jahannum home?

Aunty: What?? Who do you want to speak with?

Bro 1: Jahannum? *awkward silence* What's the name of your eldest son?

Aunty: Mohanad...

Bro 1: ... *awkward silence* May I please speak with Mohanad?

Aunty: hold on...

'lmao. is the friend desi?

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by caffienetime

'lmao. is the friend desi?

haha.. no.. afghan

[caffienetime]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

haha.. no.. afghan

lol is jahannum the same in afghani?

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by caffienetime

lol is jahannum the same in afghani?

lol.. yes.. the meaning is still hell...

[caffienetime]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

lol.. yes.. the meaning is still hell...

lmao. my mom would be like, "yeh kya bakwaas hai" and hung up. lmao.

[sally]

(12:04:51 AM) Ayooshi: I have this crazy punjabi neighbor
(12:05:00 AM) Ayooshi: who makes the best chicken 65
(12:05:11 AM) Ayooshi: won't give me the recipe....
(12:05:16 AM) sally: thats so lame
(12:05:17 AM) sally: i hate punjabis
(12:05:17 AM) Ayooshi: I have another but it SUCKS
(12:05:29 AM) Ayooshi: and its not even a punjabi dish...gosh its HYDRO
(12:05:32 AM) Spice: why wont she give you the recipe?
(12:05:41 AM) Ayooshi: she keeps making excuses
(12:05:48 AM) Ayooshi: and their getting pretty lame now
(12:06:03 AM) Ayooshi: last one she gave me was that her knee hurts. wth?



**


(12:10:46 AM) sally: i had blue salan once.
(12:10:49 AM) sally: it was rotten
(12:10:51 AM) sally: and a smelly punjabi made it jk
(12:11:06 AM) sally: one time this punjabi aunty friend of ours
(12:11:10 AM) sally: was like can you make nihari
(12:11:13 AM) sally: for a one dish party
(12:11:13 AM) sally: so
(12:11:16 AM) sally: like
(12:11:19 AM) sally: we took some at her house
(12:11:22 AM) sally: put it in her kitchen
(12:11:29 AM) sally: and she was gonna warm it up
(12:11:31 AM) sally: and serve it
(12:11:33 AM) sally: well turnso ut
(12:11:37 AM) sally: aunty jee threw in a ton of water
(12:11:40 AM) sally: liek, just water
(12:11:44 AM) sally: while warming it up
(12:11:45 AM) Ayooshi: whaaaaaaaat
(12:11:46 AM) Spice: :|
(12:11:47 AM) sally: a BUNCH of it
(12:11:49 AM) Ayooshi: who does that !?!?!?
(12:11:50 AM) sally: I KNOW
(12:11:51 AM) sally: LOL.
(12:11:54 AM) sally: so THEN
(12:11:59 AM) sally: EVERYONE AT THE DAWAT
(12:12:02 AM) sally: is waiting for our nihari right
(12:12:05 AM) sally: cuz they love my moms nihari
(12:12:06 AM) sally: time to eat
(12:12:07 AM) sally: its like
(12:12:09 AM) sally: WHERES YOUR NIHARI
(12:12:15 AM) sally: and we're all like LITERALLY LOOKING FOR IT
(12:12:21 AM) sally: it didnt look ANYTHING like what we had made
(12:12:22 AM) Spice: hahahahah
(12:12:22 AM) sally: it was weird.
(12:12:24 AM) Spice: omg
(12:12:24 AM) Spice: lol
(12:12:27 AM) Ayooshi: Ooohh goosshh
(12:12:34 AM) Ayooshi: you should have turned that aunty blue
(12:12:35 AM) Ayooshi: mannn
(12:12:41 AM) sally: hahahah aunty jee wanted to budnaam us memons
(12:12:43 AM) sally: im convinced
(12:12:43 AM) sally: jk

**

(12:12:55 AM) sally: you know the same aunty
(12:13:00 AM) sally: was talking about like
(12:13:01 AM) sally: women
(12:13:06 AM) sally: and whether theyr epermitted to
(12:13:09 AM) sally: walk into graveyards
(12:13:11 AM) Spice: lol, sally
(12:13:13 AM) sally: and this other aunty was like no
(12:13:14 AM) Spice: thats so hilarious
(12:13:16 AM) sally: theyre not
(12:13:23 AM) sally: because the dead see them as naked
(12:13:24 AM) sally: or something
(12:13:25 AM) sally: and she was like
(12:13:26 AM) sally: well
(12:13:31 AM) sally: why cant we wear a shameez/undershirt/petticoat
(12:13:33 AM) Spice: whattttt?!
(12:13:33 AM) sally: and go in there
(12:13:37 AM) sally: ahahahahaahaha
(12:13:40 AM) Ayooshi: AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(12:13:41 AM) sally: it was the funniest
(12:13:42 AM) sally: convo
(12:13:43 AM) sally: EVER
(12:13:44 AM) sally: LOL.
(12:13:46 AM) Ayooshi: Im loving this aunty man
(12:13:49 AM) Spice: oh wow
(12:13:50 AM) Spice: lol
(12:13:53 AM) sally: ahahahaahahaaha.,
(12:13:53 AM) Spice: dude..
(12:13:55 AM) Spice: what?
(12:14:01 AM) sally: dude, dont ask me
(12:14:02 AM) Spice: theres a belief that the dead see nakeds?
(12:14:12 AM) Ayooshi: this aunty said I had to put my hijaab back on when I went to this speakers convention
(12:14:12 AM) sally: the dead see women as naked. ro soemthing
(12:14:15 AM) sally: i dont know for sure
(12:14:17 AM) sally: allahu aleem
(12:14:19 AM) Ayooshi: she said the angels were there, and I had to cover from them
(12:14:21 AM) sally: dont ask me, i was just listening.
(12:14:22 AM) sally: to the convo
(12:14:22 AM) Spice: astaghfirullah
(12:14:32 AM) Spice: lol

[Spice]

Oh, btw, when I said "oh sally, thats so hilarious" I was still thinking about the water in the salan thing.

[Sapphire]

My mum was putting some water in some jugs and all of a sudden she got REAL pissed off and started yelling. I got real confused and asked what the problem was, only I didn't phrase it so politely, instead I said, "mum, are you annoyed because your jugs are uneven?"
What I meant to say was "mum are you annoyed because the water in those jugs is uneven?"
-----------------------------
*Whilst cutting up some strawberries*
Sis: "DAD! I keep squishing the strawberries!"
Dad: "don't abuse the strawberries"

[caffienetime]

uh...sally....this is cracked out REAL LIFE conversation...not IM convos.

[sumiyia]

Sumiyia: ... man, i remember when i'd enter my birthdate on forums, and be afraid i'd be too young to join. and now, i dont have that problem

M:
hahahahahha.. ive never thought someone would actually think bout that and see it as a problem..

Sumiyia: whatever jerk.. just because you're an old uncle, you think everyone should accept being old like you.. well i've got news for you.. NO.

M:
hahahahah
ur already old auntie
1. ur married; that automatically makes you old
2. your goin to grad school = OLD
3. you live on your own = OLD
4. you are past 20 = OLD
5. you are an auntie
6. your husband has a beer belly = OLD
7. you bake = OLD
shall i continue?
or are u feeling old enough

Sumiyia:

[Timbit]

Conversation with my 13-year-old brother when he came online from my aunt's house. His MSN nickname was very haraam.
I think he thought it was funny.

Timbit says:
change ur nick
Timbit says:
now
i'm bored... says:
i did
Timbit says:
good
Timbit says:
and also, u're going to laserquest again?
i'm bored... says:
no i should change that 2
Timbit says:
do it. now.
Timbit says:
change ur display pic too
Timbit says:
and ur facebook one
Timbit says:
abhi
Timbit says:
i don't like it


I love keeping my younger siblings in line. I'm hardcore.

[spicyhijabi]

My mom was watching David Letterman tonight and Richard Simmons came on.

Me: Hes gay isn't he?
Mom: Actually I heard hes married.
Me:Say what?
Mom: He certainly looks gay though. Theres nothing worse than an olde fag.
Me:

[spicyhijabi]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Conversation with my 13-year-old brother when he came online from my aunt's house. His MSN nickname was very haraam.
I think he thought it was funny.

Timbit says:
change ur nick
Timbit says:
now
i'm bored... says:
i did
Timbit says:
good
Timbit says:
and also, u're going to laserquest again?
i'm bored... says:
no i should change that 2
Timbit says:
do it. now.
Timbit says:
change ur display pic too
Timbit says:
and ur facebook one
Timbit says:
abhi
Timbit says:
i don't like it


I love keeping my younger siblings in line. I'm hardcore.

Is that what they're calling it these days.
Hehe. I'm the same way though. Cant let them get out of line.