Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[Sha_]

My bro was talking about if he lived in London... He's also a ...large guy.

Bro: you know, if I lived in London, I'd probably be involved in/presenting on Islam Channel or something.
Me: Cuz you wanna be like Sajid Varda
Bro: Yeah I see a lot of my self in him.....minus the weight
Me: why dont you just move to London then?
Bro: Nah.... I'm just doing my 'small time thing' in this 'small time city'....
Me:
Bro: *trying to be smart*......I'm like a whale in a pond...
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!1111

Bro: Aw crap

[Spice]

Originally Posted by jinnzaman

My mom and are tyte like that. We play pranks on each other all the time.

Last night I had a major headache, and my mom was yelling at someone UPSTAIRS (). I told her she was 'loud' and Paul (the neighbor) was probably wondering wth was going on.
Usually, she doesnt take me seriously, but she got really angry last night, and went to the other room and started watching tv with my little brother. When she leaves the room, you KNOW shes angry.

I had to go over, stand around for like 10 minutes apologizing.

But seriously, Im so bad. Who tells their mom shes loud?

[sally]

OMG i heart my ammi.

a patients mother blogged about her on her page on this official blog hoster for people with illnessses and stuff..
my mom wasnt too sure what a blog was at first but everyone at the hospital was telling her they read it and how awesome it was etc

so she came home and she was like, what's this blog thing? like, what does it mean?

me: it's short for weblog...which is kind of like a public diary

so then she went and checked the site out finally and read the guestbook and stuff

then today she asked me, beta, is this blog thing like what you talk about? facebook? is your page that public? do you have a guestbook where people leave you comments?



MY MOMS MY HERO #1. mashaAllah.

[Timbit]

Spice: I think all moms are loud. My mom knows she is; we tell her all the time. And she's also a "don".

Sal: MashaAllah at your mom.


Me and my big bro were watching TV and the Kit Kittredge trailer came on.

Me: I thought Will Smith's daughter was in this movie?
Him: Yeah, that's her.
Me: No, it's not.
Him: Why, 'cause she's not Black? Why do you have to racialize people, huh?
Me: No, I've seen his daughter before. She is Black.
Him: It could be his other daughter. She could be White still.
Me: Will Smith isn't Brad Pitt. It's his biological daughter.
Him: So? It's possible.
Me: It's his daughter with Jada Pinkett Smith. Who is also Black.
Him: I dunno why you even see colour. Racist.

[Aida]

5 year old cousin: Now you're gonna have a baby.
Me: What? Why? Why am I gonna have a baby?
5 year old cousin: 'Cause I tickled you.

Wth?

Later on...

5 year old cousin: Lemme see your bellybutton.
Me: No, girls don't have bellybuttons.

[Sha_]

I gave my 2 year old nephew a drink and he kept blowing bubbles in it. Why do kids repeat the same thing a zillion times ?

Nephew: Look, this is what [brother] does..*blows bubbles*
Me: Okay, stop that, cuz you're gonna make a mess.
Nephew: Lemme show you what [brother] does *blows bubbles*
Me: Okay, you're gonna get your t-shirt wet!
Nephew: This is what [brother] does *blows bubbles*
Me: [nephew]!! Your'e not listening to me are you?!
Nephew:*stops* What....?
Me: I said dont do it because you're gonna make a mess!
Nephew:...okay, wait......let me show you how to do magic....*blows bubbles*
Nephew: It's working! *continues blowing bubbles*




Lol. He's so sly for a 2 year old.
My mum handed him a quarter full tub of pringles.

Sis: Hey those are my crisps!
Nephew: They're mine!
Sis: Give them to me they're mine..
Nephew: They're my crisps!
Sis: Well let me have some then!!
Nephew: ....okay, waiiiiit....
Nephew: *casually walks out of the room with the tub and doesnt come back*

[nooni]

at grocery store with non muslim friend, we spot a pakistani mom i noe...

we meet, say salams *hugs and kisses*

pakistani mom (to me): how are you beta? hows school? etc

non muslim friend (whispers to me): uhmmmmm i think she just called u betty???

me:

[Spice]

Originally Posted by nooni

at grocery store with non muslim friend, we spot a pakistani mom i noe...

we meet, say salams *hugs and kisses*

pakistani mom (to me): how are you beta? hows school? etc

non muslim friend (whispers to me): uhmmmmm i think she just called u betty???

me:

Thats funny

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by nooni

at grocery store with non muslim friend, we spot a pakistani mom i noe...

we meet, say salams *hugs and kisses*

pakistani mom (to me): how are you beta? hows school? etc

non muslim friend (whispers to me): uhmmmmm i think she just called u betty???

me:

haha, nice.

Although she probably called you beti [fem. form of beta] - and thats why your friend probably thought she heard the lady say "Betty" ...

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

haha, nice.

Although she probably called you beti [fem. form of beta] - and thats why your friend probably thought she heard the lady say "Betty" ...

Cool! Now if you just keep that tone when criticizing others then life will be much more sweeter. Don't you think so?

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Spice: I think all moms are loud.

So basically when you become a mom, you too will face the inevitable and become loud too?

[Spice]

Ugly islamican (9:36:41 PM): im trying to be rep queen
Ugly islamican (9:36:43 PM): i was for a day
Ugly islamican (9:36:49 PM): but chootoo posts way more
Pretty islamican (9:36:54 PM): dude
Pretty islamican (9:36:58 PM): that was awesome
Pretty islamican (9:37:02 PM): i was proud of you
Pretty islamican (9:37:07 PM): for like.. a day

Ugly islamican (9:37:13 PM): it was like... a cripple
Ugly islamican (9:37:17 PM): winning an olympic race

Pretty islamican (9:37:21 PM): haha
Pretty islamican (9:37:28 PM): it was like
Pretty islamican (9:37:33 PM): IbnM making sense

Pretty islamican (9:38:00 PM): it was like.. chotoomotoo in a dress
Pretty islamican (9:38:13 PM): it was like X-islamican becoming a philosopher

Ugly islamican (9:38:52 PM): It was like infamousbrown being a gentleman
Pretty islamican (9:39:20 PM): it was like sally is secretly X2-islamican

Ugly islamican (9:40:34 PM): it was like sixpakistan were 18 again
Pretty islamican (9:41:00 PM): damn
Pretty islamican (9:41:01 PM): you win

Pretty islamican (9:41:41 PM): it was like wheelworks getting a drivers license
Pretty islamican (9:41:42 PM): HAHAHAH
Pretty islamican (9:41:43 PM): I WIN
Pretty islamican (9:41:44 PM): SUCKER

Pretty islamican (9:42:17 PM): it was like
Pretty islamican (9:42:20 PM): jinnzaman on crack
Pretty islamican (9:42:25 PM): oh wait....

Ugly islamican (9:42:55 PM): It was like GOTFIVEONIT scoring a desi chick

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

My whole family has been sick off and on for two weeks:

Mom: *shoves herbal pills in my face* take these, I think you're the carrier

Me: What? Why?

Mom: Because you're the only one who hasn't gotten extremely ill. You've just been feeling a little sick off and on.

Mom: Now take these so you can stop infecting the neighborhood!

Me: I haven't infected the neighborhood!

Mom: It's only a matter of time.....

[Timbit]

Timbit says:
she's pimpin', yo
Timbit says:
that's how gangstas roll
Shadha says:
for real
Shadha says:
lol

...


Timbit says:
hate the game, not the playa
Shadha says:
....
Shadha says:
oki thats enough now
Shadha says:
lol
Timbit says:
don't be hating foo'
Shadha says:
...oki now
Shadha says:
lol
Timbit says:
drinking too much of that haterade fo sheezyyyy
Timbit says:
talk to me let me buy u a drankkkkk
Timbit says:
i'm t-paink!
Timbit says:
what's ur nameee?
Timbit says:
baby girllll
Shadha says:
oh mi god
Timbit says:
lol. i obviously don't know the lyrics
Timbit says:
tho iv'e heard it a million times
Timbit says:
what's the chances of u rollin' wit meeeee?
Timbit says:




I crack myself up.

Also, Shadha and I argue over everything. The latest was who knows HijabMan better.
The answer was... me, of course. I had breakfast with him this morning.

[shadha]

Timbit: Also, Shadha and I argue over everything.

We don't even conversate, we literally go from one argument to the next. Yesterday alone we argued about: whether she is white or not, whether you can agree to not become pregnant, what 'aged bananas' mean, supporting the troops, why cruises are dangerous, sex in public, what are and are not dangerous white people stuff, what does 'dark features' imply...lol we a mess.


shadha-