Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[Sha_]

I was just at my sisters house, and my bro in law who doesnt speak a lot of english, got a call from double glazers.

BIL: What is thees angulan?

Sis: Anglian windows they're asking if youve had you double glazing, guttering, shuttering done why what did they say to you?

BIL: They said have you got dabol glezing?

Sis: what did you say

BIL: I say my oondow FINISH!

Sis: Good. Then what did she say?

BIL: Then she said 'Okay thenks lab'. What is this lab?(love)

Sis: She was just being nice.

BIL: Okay lab.

Lmao. I love some of his taxi-driving stories. YOU PAY OR NO?! Lol. At least he doesnt let people take advantage of him cuz of his lack of English skills.

He came accross some bulider in town who had left some job unfinished at their house a few months previously: YOU NOT BILDARR, YOU PAIN IN THEE ASS!

[poga]

You are not going to give present
But i will give you one two or three
This is number of Gifts not countdown
So don't worry

[shsh]

Originally Posted by poga

You are not going to give present
But i will give you one two or three
This is number of Gifts not countdown
So don't worry

thats a bad... the last line doesnt have enough syllables to make it a good poem.

[Timbit]

Again, not a conversation, but I'm seeing some weird people lately, I guess.

I'm walking down the street. These two men are walking towards me and one of them says loudly to the other one "Oh look, another terrorist." At which point I gave him the finger.

I'm such a bad Muslim, but seriously, it wasn't like we could've stopped and had a discussion.

My reaction was just Basically disbelief and a little bit of amusement. That's never happened to me before.

Kinda funny 'cause they were clearly minorities too.

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

me and my friend were walking through the mall:

Random guy: Namaste, ladies *does weird head bow*

Friend: what the hell does that mean

Me: It means "I bow to the divine within you"... it's some hindu greeting. He mustve thought we were hindu

Friend: See I told you you look desi with that nose ring in!

[Sha_]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Again, not a conversation, but I'm seeing some weird people lately, I guess.

I'm walking down the street. These two men are walking towards me and one of them says loudly to the other one "Oh look, another terrorist." At which point I gave him the finger.

I'm such a bad Muslim, but seriously, it wasn't like we could've stopped and had a discussion.

My reaction was just Basically disbelief and a little bit of amusement. That's never happened to me before.

Kinda funny 'cause they were clearly minorities too.

One time my friend and I were walking home from town and this chav kid was shouting over to his other chav friend: "O LOOK theres two talibans!"

We just burst out laughing cuz they sounded so dumb .

[Timbit]

Dunno what a chav is, but yeah... that does sound dumb. That's why I was amused when the guy said that about me too.

My mom likes to go to the gym, but there are men there too and she doesn't like that, so she picks the off-peak times when there will be less people around.

So today, I was just waking up but she was coming home.

Me: You were at the gym?
Her: Yes.
Me: How was it?
Her: Great.
My sister: Were there any people there?
Her: There was just one kid, and he had headphones in his ears and his eyes were closed anyway.



Then my sister wanted some breakfast and my mom told her to make it herself.

Sister: Mommmm....
Mom: Don't worry, kids. Mom's only gonna do one thing these days. You're on your own.


She meant working out. It's a craze.

[Bruinrab]

I got in the elevator yesterday and there was a little 5 year old girl and her grandpa in the elevator.

Little girl stares at me...

girl: you're a doctor.
me: uh, yes, I am.
girl: oh. I want to be a doctor.
me: that's great!
girl: my uncle is in the hospital.
me: oh no, I hope he's ok.
girl: no, he's sick. (proceeds to tell me his entire history)
me:

[jinnzaman]

Originally Posted by shsh

wow...you talk to your mom like that? i would have been thapparmafied if i said anything even close to that!

My mom and are tyte like that. We play pranks on each other all the time.

[jinnzaman]

I just arm wrestled my mom.

[shadha]

Oki so my [fobby] friend is over for the weekend . Him and my brother decide to start making watermelon muffins [wtf?] at 1 in the morning [another wtf?]. So I come back down and I started helping them since they just destroyed the recipe [they used powdered sugar instead of flour, LOL].

So when they were done, I stuffed one in my mouth to taste it and I started washing up the dishes with my brother as my [fobby] friend was taking the rest of the muffins out of the tin.

Brother: Yeah, I know about that movie but I forgot what it's about. What's it about?
[fobby] Friend: Vampires.
Me: *mouth still stuffed*
Brother: What?
[fobby] Friend: Vampires.
Brother: What??
[fobby] Friend: Vampires. What the **** you think I'm saying?
Me: Tawfiq, he's saying Vampires.
Brother: OHHH!!! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHAAHA! I thought he was saying *does Desi accent* 'Man Powers'. I was like wow this guy is really gay.
Me: HHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
[fobby] Friend:

Man powers...lolllll


shadha-

[zeyneddine]

Originally Posted by shadha

Oki so my [fobby] friend is over for the weekend . Him and my brother decide to start making watermelon muffins [wtf?] at 1 in the morning [another wtf?]. So I come back down and I started helping them since they just destroyed the recipe [they used powdered sugar instead of flour, LOL].

So when they were done, I stuffed one in my mouth to taste it and I started washing up the dishes with my brother as my [fobby] friend was taking the rest of the muffins out of the tin.

Brother: Yeah, I know about that movie but I forgot what it's about. What's it about?
[fobby] Friend: Vampires.
Me: *mouth still stuffed*
Brother: What?
[fobby] Friend: Vampires.
Brother: What??
[fobby] Friend: Vampires. What the **** you think I'm saying?
Me: Tawfiq, he's saying Vampires.
Brother: OHHH!!! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHHAAHA! I thought he was saying *does Desi accent* 'Man Powers'. I was like wow this guy is really gay.
Me: HHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
[fobby] Friend:

Man powers...lolllll


shadha-

does your brother or [fobby] friend know you make fun of them publically like this?

[Timbit]

Powdered sugar instead of flour. Wow.


I'm at my aunt's place for the long weekend to hang out with my cousins. I left some things lying around though and generally made a mess. My aunt was getting annoyed with all of us.

Her: Are those your clothes?
Me: Umm... yes.
Her: Pick them up!
Me: Okay, Phupho (dad's sister).
Her: And are these your shoes?
Me: Yes.
Her: What're they doing here?!
Me:

My uncle (her husband) is watching the whole thing and I thought he was gonna say "[Timbit] is so messy" but he was like "And that's your phupho. If I had one like that, I'd kill myself."

Later on, we were all having lunch and my aunt said something, to which he looked at me and said "And you have three phuphos like this one [Timbit]? I don't know how you put up with it. I just have one phupho and I'm constantly asking Allah to take her already."

My uncle's crazy. He's always making these jibes at my aunt. It's just lighthearted teasing though; they're so cute together. They were in the kitchen after lunch and he pinched her and she was like "OW! First that SOB of a doctor gave me a needle and now you?!" And then she elbowed him.

Punjabi relatives are pure entertainment.

[shadha]

Timbit: Powdered sugar instead of flour. Wow.

LOL I know!!! And they told me they kept throwing more 'flour' in to try to thicken it up but it still stayed watery...I wonder why.


shadha-

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

Me to coworker: Come help me clean the fitting rooms. it looks like a monkey *does impression of a monkey tearing stuff up and throwing it all over the place*

coworker: *points at fobby asian man staring at me with his mouth open* you really shouldn't do your monkey impression in public