[afrakabob]

me: Mom, we're eating that corn? Wasn't it rotten?
mom: No...
me: But... it looked rotten!
mom: No.
me: Then what were you slicing off of it just now?
mom: Well... there was a part of it that was kind of... rotten.
me:

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

my little brothers friend looks just like him. I walked into the living room this morning and started yelling at him:

Me: Hamza will you please turn that off! that sound is so annoying

Hamza: ....

Me: HELLO!! turn off your volume!

Hamza: .....

Other Brother: that's not Hamza...

Me: ...*looks* Oh, Hi Heime

[Timbit]

Okay, this wasn't a conversation, but just something dumb.

I was on the subway and it was really crowded. Rush hour... everybody coming back from work. I got a seat right next to the door, but right after me, this young guy (few years older than me) walks in holding the hand of an older lady.

So I'm sitting there looking at them ('cause they're right in front of me) and I keep thinking back to that news article somebody had posted on Islamica a while back about the young man (20-something) who married a senior citizen. And I keep wondering if this guy is going out with this woman, 'cause why else would they be holding hands?

So I was honestly sitting there trying to figure it out for the longest time ever (okay, maybe 30 seconds or so but it felt longer), till it hit me: it's his grandma and he's holding her hand to guide her and also 'cause he doesn't want her to fall. It's crowded and she couldn't get a seat.

That's when I got up and gave her the seat.

Wow. I'm the biggest idiot ever. I can't believe I was wondering if they were going out.

[Blue_Phoenix]

"I hope you get hit by a bus, you ****ing *******!"
A driver to me yesterday morning.

[Saja]

This is a convo/situation. I usually talk pretty fast and can be pretty shy. So when I get shy and talk fast, I usually say some stupid stuff, which is why I usually have my bro or sis place orders and things like that. So I'm picking up sushi, and the restaurant is under construction so my only option is valet parking.

I'll put what was going on in my head in * *. Walking in...

Hostess: Hey, how's it going.
Me: Hey, how's your goin'. *wth is wrong with me...your goin'?*
Hostess: Umm...Good...Are you here for a pick up order?
Me: Yes.
Other lady taking over: That'll be $20.14.
Me: *i have exact change...but crap...I wanted some change/smaller bills to tip the vallet guy...oh well I'll look around my purse* Here you go.
Other lady: Have a nice day.

I walk out to the parking lot after I find a dollar and because I kinda know the guy, I thought I'd explain that I didn't have any change. I'll leave a better tip next time I'm back.

Me: Hey, I don't have any change on me right now...but I swear I'm not stingy.
Parker: Don't worry about it.

Some other guy ends up getting my car, so I'm like oh crap...now they're all gonna think I'm cheap with my dolla dolla bill...oh crap...I'm getting nervous and I feel something stupid coming...

Me to the other guy after I get my car: Hey, I'm stingy (while handing the dollar bill).
Other guy: Ummm...okay.
Me: Bye!

I jumped in my car and drove off like an idiot. I am never picking up orders alone again.

[sally]

********: i don't know
********: but his screen name is shaadiable

[vegetables]

not much of a conversation

i was making oatmeal and my brother was waving a grilled cheese sandwich in my face

bro: this sandwich looks really good compared to that oatmeal...
me: i dont care.. i dont want it an--- < I GO TO GRAB HIS BAGEL BUT HE STARTS TO RUN>

i chase him through the kitchen, living room, hallway, out the door, down the block while barefoot til i realize i left the oatmeal on the stove. it spilled and i didnt get the bagel

[Sha_]

My neices aged 7 and 10 were talking about Jamie Lynne Spears.

07: You know 'zoe 101', she's havin a baby...
10: I know but her name's not 'zoe 101' its Jamie Lyn Spears
me: She's already had the baby
10: Did she? How do you know?
me: I heard on the radio today, its a girl.
07: Huh? She already had it? Does that mean she's married?
me:......
07: Is she married? I didnt know she was married? Is she married then? I dont get it. How can she have a baby then?
me: ............. um...



Akward.

[fatima]

Originally Posted by Saja

This is a convo/situation. I usually talk pretty fast and can be pretty shy. So when I get shy and talk fast, I usually say some stupid stuff, which is why I usually have my bro or sis place orders and things like that. So I'm picking up sushi, and the restaurant is under construction so my only option is valet parking.

I'll put what was going on in my head in * *. Walking in...

Hostess: Hey, how's it going.
Me: Hey, how's your goin'. *wth is wrong with me...your goin'?*
Hostess: Umm...Good...Are you here for a pick up order?
Me: Yes.
Other lady taking over: That'll be $20.14.
Me: *i have exact change...but crap...I wanted some change/smaller bills to tip the vallet guy...oh well I'll look around my purse* Here you go.
Other lady: Have a nice day.

I walk out to the parking lot after I find a dollar and because I kinda know the guy, I thought I'd explain that I didn't have any change. I'll leave a better tip next time I'm back.

Me: Hey, I don't have any change on me right now...but I swear I'm not stingy.
Parker: Don't worry about it.

Some other guy ends up getting my car, so I'm like oh crap...now they're all gonna think I'm cheap with my dolla dolla bill...oh crap...I'm getting nervous and I feel something stupid coming...

Me to the other guy after I get my car: Hey, I'm stingy (while handing the dollar bill).
Other guy: Ummm...okay.
Me: Bye!

I jumped in my car and drove off like an idiot. I am never picking up orders alone again.

hahahaaha this cracked me up!

im forever plagued by those same 'wth just came out of my mouth...that made no sense ' moments too. i wish i could be one of those smooth talking people that always knows what to say. oh well...awkwardness zindabad! at least i get a kick out of laughing at my own stupidity

[shsh]

i was lying down on three seats on the bus with my feet up and my head was resting on my bookbag and i was reading a book and drinking pepsi. at one stop, this black guy got on and was like: "DAYM! SHES CHILLIN MAN! LOOK AT HER! SHES CHILLIN!!! LOOK AT HER!"

me: *looks at him*

him: YOU LOOK SO COMFORTABLE! DAYM IS SHE CHILLIN OR WHAT?!

me: i AM comfortable

[Timbit]

How do you do that? Do you take your shoes off?

I hate putting my feet up on the bus, 'cause other people are going to sit there. Where your shoes were! That's kinda gross.

Sucks when you have a long commute.

[shsh]

Originally Posted by Timbit

How do you do that? Do you take your shoes off?

I hate putting my feet up on the bus, 'cause other people are going to sit there. Where your shoes were! That's kinda gross.

Sucks when you have a long commute.

no i was wearing chappal. i took them off. and the seat was at the end of the bus. nobody sits there cuz there is a seat right in front of it and there isnt enough room to sit.

[poga]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Remember this thread?

So today, I walk into the pharmacy and there's this guy there. Mid-40s. I'd mention his ethnicity too, but I dunno if it's relevant.

Anyway, so he looks me up and down, grins and then goes: "It's my birthday."

Me: Oh, is it? Happy birthday.
Him: I want a present.
Me: Awww, didn't you get any?
Him: No, I want one from you.
Me: Okay, what do you want?
Him: Anything you wanna give me.
Me: You're funny. Bye now.

So I just ignored him and started talking to the pharmacist. Then he finally left. She was like "What was up with that guy?" Weirdo.

I was that men
And i am still waiting for my present

[shsh]

Originally Posted by poga

I was that men
And i am still waiting for my present

men? hey timbit there was only one guy there right?

sorry yo, i think you got the wrong girl. try one of the other ones.

[Spice]

Originally Posted by shsh

i was lying down on three seats on the bus with my feet up and my head was resting on my bookbag and i was reading a book and drinking pepsi. at one stop, this black guy got on and was like: "DAYM! SHES CHILLIN MAN! LOOK AT HER! SHES CHILLIN!!! LOOK AT HER!"

me: *looks at him*

him: YOU LOOK SO COMFORTABLE! DAYM IS SHE CHILLIN OR WHAT?!

me: i AM comfortable

Um, thats creepy.