Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

[Bluestar]

Originally Posted by Blue_Phoenix

Yeah, they'll do that too. Call back, I mean. I worked as a telemarketer, so I know. I don't scream at telemarketers anymore either.

Yeah i was referring to how freaky the company was. I've never heard one that can sell mobile phone and mortgages

[muslimahpower]

at ISNA...i came to the hotel room to freshen up and decided to sign on islamica for a bit. my dad notices i signed onto islamica...

dad: who are you talking to now? islamica is downstairs

[Deel]

Originally Posted by muslimahpower

at ISNA...i came to the hotel room to freshen up and decided to sign on islamica for a bit. my dad notices i signed onto islamica...

dad: who are you talking to now? islamica is downstairs

roffle. you havin' fun ain'tcha

[ShotgunMessiah]

Originally Posted by shadha

So my husband and I were staying over my parents house in the guest bedroom. We're in the bedroom, just talking. His back was bothering him so I was massaging it. Out of nowhere we hear the loud stomping footsteps of my youngest brother whose 10...

*brother opens the door while knocking*
brother: Hey guys! *jumps on the bed*
me: Umm hey sweetie
brother: *with his PSP in his hands* Whatcha guys doing? Wanna watch me beat this level?
me: Ahh...no that's oki.
brother: Oh. Oki. *plays on his PSP*
husbster: *chuckles, shakes his head and lays back down*
me: So umm hun, why don't you go upstairs and get the movie ready?
brother: OKI!!! You guys are gonna watch it too right?
me: You betcha.
brother: *leaves the room*
me & hubster:

My brother is so freakin cute.


shadha-

I think it's hilarious how you standardize your "OK"'s to "oki"

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

So today this old lady was chewing my ear off because we didn't have any cheap swimsuits:

Old lady: 90 dollars! you expect me to pay that much for this? I'm not even gonna wear it that often!

Me: Yeah... this one over here is on sale for $66

Old Lady: This is ridiculous. Don't you have any cheaper brands?

Co-worker: No we only have brand name

Old Lady: Fine.. I'll look elsewhere

Co-worker mouths to me: WTF... why doesn't she go to WALMART??

Me:

[shadha]

Shotgun: I think it's hilarious how you standardize your "OK"'s to "oki"

Lol. I got some of my friends and hubster to convert over to that.


shadha-

[DramaRani]

Friend 1: Have you ever had baba ghanoush?
Me: Yeah, a really long time ago.
Friend 2: Never, but I'll try it.
(Some time passes)
Waitress: Are you ready to order?
Friend 2: I'd like to start with the baba ganesh.
Everyone:
Friend 2: What's so funny ?
Me: Ghanoush, not Ganesh like the Hindu elephant God.
Friend 2:

[Timbit]

My big brother at 4 AM: Wanna watch a movie?
Me: Um, I kinda have an exam tomorrow which I'm trying to review for.
Him: Oh, okay. Study then.
*few minutes later*
Me: Okay, fine... what do we have?
Him: *lists 4 or 5 movies all of which have lots of shooting people and blowing things up and blood and gore* You can pick any of these!
Me: Uhhhh... I think I'm just gonna study for my exam instead.
Him: Aren't I such a nice brother? I give you the choice! If I were mean, I'd just pick one and make you watch it, but I'm giving you the choice of 4.

We always end up watching some action or gangster movie. But they're good.

Then a few weeks ago, he made me get up early in the morning to drop him off to the subway station 'cause he had work. Then I got back home and just as I'm putting the key in the lock, he calls me like "Can you come back to pick me up? I forgot I have to be at the other location today".

So I go all the way back to pick him up, and I get there and he's like "Okay, now... we're switching. I'm getting in the car and here, take your Metropass back for you to get back home."

Me: (I was wearing my pajamas!)
Him: I'm just kidding! Wouldn't I be a horrible brother if I did that?

[vegetables]

roadtrip. my older sis is driving and im navigating. we pull into a packed rest stop full of white people

her: should we stop there? <points to right in front of a huge crowd>
me: no were gonna make them uncomfortable. keep looking. african americans over there, pull in!!
her: desis too! minority corner!
me: awesome

--------------------------------

my brother was being REALLY annoying and wouldn't stop

me: <whispers> im going to murder you
him: mommy, immi said hes going to murder me
me: <whispers> with hugs
him: nevermind, hes going to do it with hugs
me: < whispers> till you suffocate

he walks away. success

[Safia]

me: man im hungrrryyyyyyy
sister-in-law: WHATTT I JUST saw you eat a bowl full of butter, safia!!!
me *rolling on the floor laughing*: I was dipping my french bread in a spat of butter!!!
sister-in-law: oh. *goes to make me paratha with eggs*

i love that as i was eating my "bowl full of butter" she never once judged me, not once looked down on me and my fat assedness, not once turned up her nose. and then proceeded to make me a midnight meal. sigh. that is unconditional love.

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by vegetables

roadtrip. my older sis is driving and im navigating. we pull into a packed rest stop full of white people

her: should we stop there? <points to right in front of a huge crowd>
me: no were gonna make them uncomfortable. keep looking. african americans over there, pull in!!
her: desis too! minority corner!
me: awesome

--------------------------------

my brother was being REALLY annoying and wouldn't stop

me: <whispers> im going to murder you
him: mommy, immi said hes going to murder me
me: <whispers> with hugs
him: nevermind, hes going to do it with hugs
me: < whispers> till you suffocate

he walks away. success

hahahhahahahwiejhortjaoiejtoijaiot...

[vegetables]

nm he might be read this LOL

[iceonfire]

Luis(friend)
Corporal Bratton(teacher)
Me (iceonfire)

3th & 4th period Police Academy
--------------------------------

Luis - hey your mamas so ugly ...........
Me - well ur moms so fat she.........
class- oooooohhhhh
luis- well ur moms sooo fat it.....
Bratton- (from desk) hey you guys get off the mama jokes.....cause i jus got off urs!!!!
class- HAHAHAHAlol:HAHAHA:l ol:HA





ha that made my day!!

[Saja]

My niece is two years old and has an obsession with the number two "chooo." Besides the language of gibberish, she only knows a few random words.

Counting:
Me: One...
My sweetie pie: Choo....
Me: Three...
Cutest niece ever: Choo!
Me: Four
Adorable: Chooo!

I realize this and a few hours later when we have a bunch of people over:

Me: Habibi, what comes after one?
Precious: Chooo!
Me: And what's ten minus eight?
Beautiful: Chooo!
Me: Wow! Now what's the derivative of 2x?
Sweetness: Choo!
Everyone around: MashaAllah! SubhanAllah!

hehe

[vegetables]

someone from hs i haven't seen in a while

me: were you in china??
friend: i still am
me: what are you doing there?
friend: learning Chinese
me: makes sense