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03-18-2008, 01:48 AM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
*I was showing my sister an outfit I had put together*
Me: This dress, these shoes. What do you think? Sis: Ooo I love it Bro: You look like a piece of candy corn Me: 
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Yes, theyre sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than drinkin' alone 
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03-18-2008, 06:44 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
I was telling my mom that i need a new tote/bag for school cause my aero one was getting too small...
ammi: woh wala kyu nahi lekar jaathi ho? *points to a bag with little mirrors and embroidary that someone brought me from Pakistan* (..why don't u just take that one?) me: if i take that one, you might as well make me take biryani and masala for lunch 
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My Lord, Expand for me my breast and make my work easy for me and loosen the knot from my tongue so they may understand my speech (Quran) In happy moments, praise Allah. In difficult moments, seek Allah. In quiet moments, worship Allah. In painful moments, trust Allah. In every moment, thank Allah. "Friends on that Day will be foes; one to another except Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)" [al-Zukhruf 43:67]
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03-18-2008, 09:47 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Today at my work, a couple of the line cooks were eating this veggie pizza that the head chef made.
So one of them tastes it and goes like: "Uggggh... this is some nasty ****. How do people eat this?" I was like   "What, you mean pizza? And the other guy was like "Yeah...umm...we don't like vegetables."  Later, I wanted to try some so I went like "Guys, is the cheese that's on this okay for me to eat?" 'Cause I wanted to know if it was halal cheese or not. And the one guy is like "Yeah... but see, the rennet is what makes it taste good."  
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And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right (Qur'an 29:69).
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03-19-2008, 11:49 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
I don't think we have a cracked out IM thread anymore, so yeah...
Friend says: **** why do profs hate my opinon [timbit] Friend says: ? Timbit says: 'cause ur opinions are stupid? Timbit " says: hahaha Friend says: hahaha ... Friend says: ya allah have mercy Friend says: lol Friend says: i can't believe i'm getting so owned all the time Friend says: well, [friend's name]... u kind of deserve to be owned. lol. ... Timbit says: but seriously, i don't think u can get a bad grade for disagreeing with a prof or TA Timbit says: it's in the university's code of behaviour on academic matters Timbit says: so u totally have the freedom to discuss and explore ur orientalist/fundamentalist ideas... Friend says: orientalist Friend says: la hawla walla quwata illah billah Timbit says: lollll. i know, right? that's like the worst insult u can hurl at somebody these days ... Friend says: modernist Friend says: liberal Friend says: reformer Friend says: yalla i gotta go...go refrom ythe religion you're ashamed of...asalaam alaykum Friend says: reforming feminist Timbit says: later... u friggin' orientalist Friend says: lol My friend got a C on a paper in Gender and Islam for saying that he doesn't believe in Islamic feminism. The TA called him an Orientalist. Ahahhahahahahah. That made my week... Not 'cause I want him to get bad marks; just 'cause I think it's funny how she penalized him for disagreeing with her.
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And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right (Qur'an 29:69).
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03-21-2008, 04:28 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
*Me and my little brother were late for jummah, on the way back*
Me: So did you make it in time? Bro: No, did you? Me: Yeah, how come you didn't make it? Bro: I needed to make wudu Me: Why would you leave the house without wudu? Bro: I had wudu when we left...... Me: Other bro: He farted Me:
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Yes, theyre sharing a drink they call loneliness But it's better than drinkin' alone
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03-23-2008, 01:07 AM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
I was clearing the snow off my car today when my elderly Arab neighbor walked by.
Arab Uncle: Assalaamu alaikum. me: walakum assalaam! Uncle: Kaif Halak? Me (thinking awesome, I get to practice my arabic): Alhamdullilah. Me (frantically trying to recall the proper response): y tu? Uncle: (walks away with a confused look on his face)DOH!
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03-23-2008, 01:26 AM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Quote:
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03-23-2008, 03:37 AM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
My baby brother on a pistachio nut that he couldn't open: This one is sleeping inside his shell!
My big brother was trying to get me to do his homework. A 2-page assignment. Him: C'mon... I'll pay you ten bucks per page. That's 20 dollars! For an hour's worh of work. It's worth it. Me: No, thanks. I have two essays of my own to write.Later, he asked me again. Me: Okay, I'll do it but I don't think you'll be able to afford the price I'm asking. Him: How much? Me: 600 dollars. Him: 300 dollars per page? No way. Me: Yeah, but I'm guaranteeing you a B+. Him: Nope. I leave his room. Just as I'm walking away, he calls me back. Me: Yeah? Him: Okay, 200 dollars. Me: He really doesn't want to write these two pages.
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And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right (Qur'an 29:69).
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03-23-2008, 01:47 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
my husband is studying for his step 3 (medical exam stuff u usually do during residency)
husband: God i hate studying OBGyn. I've been on this for so long. sana: oh yeah husband: (runs through the pages to see how much he has left) Its so much. Why do women have to be so complicated. sana:
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"For him are angels ranged before him and behind him, who guard him by Allah's command. Lo! Allah changeth not the condition of a folk until they (first) change that which is in their hearts; and if Allah willeth misfortune for a folk there is none that can repel it, nor have they a defender beside Him" (013:011).
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03-23-2008, 03:09 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
i was at my friend's birthday party, chatting with an inebriated girl i'd just met an hour earlier. she lives next to an indian restaurant.
Girl: Tomorrow's Easter! I get to dress up in my giant bunny outfit! Afra: What if it absorbs the smell of curry wafting in from the restaurant? Girl: Afra: Then you'll be the Curry Bunny. Girl: -terribly excited- OMG! I'm going to see you tomorrow and not remember your name, but I'll call you CURRY BUNNY! -gives me a giant hug- I LOVE YOU! Afra:  i... love you too.
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03-23-2008, 03:28 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Me: Haneef, why are you asking me so many questions????
Haneef: BECAUSE I WANNA BE ALL UP IN YOUR BIZNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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03-23-2008, 04:44 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
Afra: i have a MUY IMPORTANT QUESTION! Easter candy! will it go on sale today... or tomorrow?
Katie: hahahahahahahaha, I have no idea. maybe Tuesday Afra: WHAT? freaking christians. just put the candy on sale already. Jesus wouldn't complain. in fact... he'd tell you to turn the other peep!
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03-23-2008, 04:45 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
my mom is funny. she had just returned from the store and realized the cashier had made a mistake on the receipt, so she came by to tell me she was going back to correct it. (the translation may seem disrespectful, but it occurred in urdu in a joking mother-son manner)
Mom: I had a coupon for 20 for each of these items. The register didn't include the coupon. Me: 20? Mom: Yeah, 20 cents each. (starts counting the items) 20, 20, 20, 20...so 80 cents. Me: You're going back to reclaim the 80 cents you were gypped out of? Mom: Yeah, why not? Me (laughing): It's probably going to cost you more in gas and time than what you'll get back. Mom (starts laughing as well): SO! It's the principle of the matter. Me: Ammi, I'll lend you the 80 cents  ...........Mom: (starts fake reaching out her hand) Ok, give me.
Last edited by RestlessSoul; 03-23-2008 at 05:04 PM.
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03-23-2008, 06:21 PM
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Re: Cracked Out Real Life Conversations
*WARNING*
~The following is deadly hilarious~ Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father." The second Catholic woman chirps "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace." The third Catholic mother says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence." Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?" So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!"
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i am man and i eat meat
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