[Timbit]

Originally Posted by zakk

I bet he was doing a psych experiment. we had to do those sometimes in intro.

Could be! He did say he was in Psych!
Psych and Neuroscience.

Originally Posted by shadha

Timbit, well was the guy at least cute?


shadha-

He was okay. Probably non-Muslim at any rate.

Okay, so my sister and I had this argument and didn't talk for a night.
Then today my brother notices we're not fighting anymore and he goes like "So you two are okay now? Who apologized to who?"
And she's like "Yeah, of course we're okay. And we don't apologize to each other."
And my little brother said how we're always arguing over dumb things and my big bro goes to him like "Good thing that doesn't happen to us, eh? 'Cause I can just beat you up."

[Bruinrab]

A car pulled up next to us today with a jihadwatch bumper sticker. The car: a mercedes SUV driven by a blonde woman and carrying only her and a big white dog. My mom's response after my brother and I explained what the sticker was about:

Mai da kutta onkoo kha vunya.

(May the woman's dog bite her)

P.S. I think my mom is the only desi aunty I've ever known to flip another driver off.

[IbnMardhiyah]

I'm not surprised that such a driver would actually post that sticker.

Spencer is a mindless tool who's drivel only complete airheads could swallow.

[Timbit]

Bruinrab: Which language do you speak?
I have the sweetest friend ever... but when she gets in a car, she starts to swear like a sailor, giving old ladies the finger and all.

I was on the bus today and I got on and was like "Can I get a transfer please?" to the bus driver. And he goes "Of course... but only if you smile."
Which, of course, made me giggle.

He did that to everybody. Everybody. Because, he said, his bus is a happy bus.
And he said if we don't smile, then he'll have to start singing for us. But we were all like "We want to hear you sing!"

And he serenaded us with "the wheels on the bus go round and round" and "Oh, bus driver... won't you speed up a little bit?" Ahahahhaa. Hilarious.

He made me sing along with him.

He periodically kept going "What is this?" And we would go "The happy bus!"
It's a 40 minute bus ride but he made it go by in no time at all.

When I got off, I was like "Thanks! This was the happiest bus ever!" And he's like "I'm glad you thought so!" Highly amusing. I wish more bus drivers would be that way.

[Timbit]

My aunt came online and we had a conversation. My nick said "I want to marry an EXOTIC Muslim"... a quote by my friend. And my aunt said bye, but as she's leaving, she mentions it:

Aunty says:
and EXOTIC muslim.............
Aunty says:
i do know this aunty who is looking for a girl for her 2nd son, vey molvi type guy.....if u say should i talk to her............ he must really be very exotic
Timbit says:
how exotic are we talking?
Timbit says:
and i thought she wanted [my cousin]... to give her a mahram within a week so she can go on jamaat
Aunty says:
[she] refused, she couldn't stand that much exoticness
Aunty says:

Timbit says:
haha
Timbit says:
aunty. tablighi people aren't exotic
Aunty says:
yes they r
Aunty says:
u won't see it unless u also become exotic
Timbit says:
hahaha. i'll pass on that kind of exotic, thanks
Aunty says:
poor guy
Aunty says:
2 girls already refused hom
Aunty says:
*him
Timbit says:
lol. i don't say yes until my abuji does
Timbit says:

Aunty says:
ohhhhhhhhhhhh
Aunty says:
that's a new one
Timbit says:
haha
Aunty says:
i'll talk to him then
Timbit says:
u can go check out the guy, then tell my dad
Aunty says:
he does parda, so I cannot check him out
Aunty says:
but your dad is welcome to do so
Timbit says:
nobody told u it's allowed to check them out for marriage purposes? what are u learning in the jamaats, huh?
Aunty says:
yes, but the couple
Aunty says:
not others
Timbit says:
okay... i guess i'll have to check him out myself then


Ahahahahhaha. I wonder if she's actually gonna bring it up with my parents. That would be hilarious.

[Spice]

What, no! she promised me him.

Ugh, aunties and their disorganized ways

[sixpakistan]

Originally Posted by Bruinrab

A car pulled up next to us today with a jihadwatch bumper sticker. The car: a mercedes SUV driven by a blonde woman and carrying only her and a big white dog. My mom's response after my brother and I explained what the sticker was about:

Mai da kutta onkoo kha vunya.

(May the woman's dog bite her)

P.S. I think my mom is the only desi aunty I've ever known to flip another driver off.

A few years back, I was in Nairobi with my mother. Her cousin, who we'll call Nur Banu Auntie, picked us up from the airport. Now, prior to this I hadn't spent a lot of time around Nur Banu Auntie, so I didn't really know her. She looked like a typical Memon auntie in her 50s, except she was driving a huge stick shift Land Rover (and she probably shouldn't have been).

Anyway, we're navigating the horrible & dangerous Nairobi traffic with this tiny woman driving this mammoth vehicle.. her & my mom are talking. I'm looking out the window at the city, not really paying attention. All of a sudden, some guy in a car near us pulls some stupid move, cutting us off or something.

Nur Banu Auntie's reaction: instant "m-bomb" (the curse common throughout North Indian dialects) while shaking her fist at the driver.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. I've never seen my mother look so mortified.

Originally Posted by Timbit

Bruinrab: Which language do you speak?

Seraiki

[Timbit]

Seraiki... yeah, that's what I thought.

My dad calls from work and is like "Give the phone to Mom" and I'm like "She's not home" and he's like "Okay, bye" and I'm like " How come you only ever want to talk to Mom and not to me?" and he's like "Okay, let's talk then...why are you home today? Don't you have school?" and I'm like "Okay, never mind then. Bye now."

[Bruinrab]

My mom is beyond hysterical. Between sunnah and fard rakats, she pauses, turns to me and says:

Is there a difference between "hooky" and "hickey"?

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by Bruinrab

My mom is beyond hysterical. Between sunnah and fard rakats, she pauses, turns to me and says:

Is there a difference between "hooky" and "hickey"?

hahahahahaha too cute!!!!

[zakk]

Madiha: Mama, do you know a jump rope song... it goes "strawberry shortcake something something"?

Me: Oh yeah yeah: "strawberry shortcake, banana split, we make your team look like--- "---- OH WAIT THAT'S NOT IT!

[sally]

so this black non muslim girl im cool with comes up to me and stares at my face and is like

"you aint supposed to do them eyebrows, girl! mhmmmmmmmmmmm'

and im like, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

and she's like, 'aaahaan, naameannnn, yo! yall cant do nona them eyebrows. ma frayn tol' me. you know the one i tol you bout, she cover her face and her husband marry him another wife! '

and im like uhhhhhhhhh

her: 'yeaaaaa, you cant get nona them nails done eitha!'

me: 'wellll, you can..when you're not.."

her: 'oh, my bad..that's right! when you cant do no prayers, you can do dem nails right!'

me: ' uh huh...and, you're not supposed to know the eyebrow stuff. go away. PLUS mine aren't shaped shaped.'

[Saja]

haha...I love it when nonmuslims put muslims in check.

Kids are so cute and say the most adorable things. This incident happened in my sister's classroom after one of them cussed (they're 9 years old). They're both Muslim and named Ali.

Ali 1: He's lying Ms., I didn't say it; he did!
Ali 2: Liar! He said it!
Ali 1: You said it!
Ali 2: You know how I know you're lying?!!?!!
Ali 1: How?
Ali 2: Because you're going to BURN when Allah gives you the Quran in your left hand you LIAR!!

I was laughing so hard when he screamed that. He looked ready to kill Ali 1.

[afrakabob]

i was in biology lab today, and we were working with brine shrimp

my professor, to the class: "Today in lab, we're going to torture animals. Haw haw, just kidding. Brine shrimp don't have brains, so they can't feel pain."

later, when lab was over, i was emptying out the tube that had held the brine shrimp i'd been working with, freeing them to join their crustacean brethren in a large tank. i was having trouble getting them all back into the tank, because a few were sticking to the glass.

me, to the professor: "I think they have Stockholm Syndrome "