The wussification of American children

[real]

Warning: Fun ahead
Safety first, yes, but today's overprotected kids need to live a little
Peter Hartlaub

Friday, October 19, 2007


Every time I buckle my son into his car seat - positioned between the side impact air bags and above the antilock brakes in our five-star safety-rated automobile - I think about my preferred mode of travel in the summer of 1983.

I spent that season at the Connecticut wilderness home of a friend from elementary school, who was moving from the Bay Area to the East Coast. When it was time to drive the station wagon down the mountain road, his father would often give us a choice: Would we like to ride in the backseat or on the roof of the car?

In retrospect, this was probably a really bad idea. If two 12-year-olds were seen traveling on the roof of a car in 2007, it would likely trigger an Amber Alert, four dozen cell phone calls to Child Protective Services and a viral YouTube video to be played endlessly on "Nancy Grace." But I'm sort of glad it happened. Being perched on the top of that slow-moving Ford Country Squire was a small risk (remember, this was the pre-Ford Taurus 1980s, when station wagons had giant luggage racks that were practically made for passenger travel), but there was also a reward. Riding on the roof of that car made me a little bit less of a wuss.

The wussification of American children is a relatively recent phenomenon, but a very real one. We pamper our kids, over-schedule them, overemphasize fairness in competition (the score ends in a tie ... again!) and keep them indoors too much, to the point that we're doing them a huge disservice. Kids aren't learning how to get hurt, lose, fend for themselves, find their balance and discover minor dangers on their own - all important parts of growing up.

The most encouraging parenting-related quote I've heard this year came from Peter Cornall, the head of leisure safety for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents in England (best business card title ... ever), who says that overprotective parenting can hurt the development of children.

"Parents and children must not be frightened about venturing outside," he told the London Times in a June article. "When children spend time in the great outdoors, getting muddy, getting wet, getting stung by nettles, they learn important lessons - what hurts, what is slippery, what you can trip over or fall from. We need to try to break down the perceived safety barriers to playing outside."

I don't think he's saying people should get rid of their car seats or start smoking two packs a day while they're pregnant again. The point is to take some time and rediscover a few forgotten traditions, particularly ones that take place outdoors.

The popularity of "The Dangerous Book for Boys" is one great sign that coddling may be on the wane. That best-seller by brothers Conn and Hal Iggulden focuses on traditions - including how to build a tree house and instructions for making a go-cart - that are facing extinction in our paranoid parenting culture.

Accompanying this article are a few more "dangerous" things families can do together in the Bay Area, all chosen to help you de-wussify your brood. You may need to bring some Bactine now - but your kids will thank you later.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...type=printable

[IbnMardhiyah]

The height of this phenomenon is seen when young American soldiers sent to Iraq or Afghanistan are shocked to learn that they could actually die in a war.

[displaced]

when I was little..around 6..and I'd say I was going out to play, my mom never really knew exactly where my friends and I were playing. not to say we were doing anything wrong but we pretty much roamed the neighborhood. same for my brothers and sisters.

my sister doesn't let her kids play outside unless she can keep an eye on them. she lives in a quiet suburban neighborhood.

are things more dangerous now? eeeehhh, I doubt it.

[YOUSUFofSD]

I do agree that they should be exposed to falls, cuts and bruises as that will teach them about their limits and natural things in life; it seems though that there are sexual predators everywhere...per the news and megan's website...megans law. Sometimes i wish i never looked at that website...but then its better to know those things.

[IbnMardhiyah]

Yeah, same. My mom let us play outside plenty.

And we had cuts, bruises, bee stings, poison ivy, broken bones even - the whole nine yards.

[MossadConspiracy]

I couldnt play outside because there were crack vials on the sidewalk, people with AIDS, homelesses, gangs that sliced kids faces for initiation, etc. I played in the back yard or sat around in the house and read books

[Blue_Phoenix]

I actually wrote an online article about this several years ago.

[lol_lol]

yeah, you americans are fat and weak.

[Timbit]

This is true.

When I was a kid, my mom used to let us spend all day outside. But with my younger siblings now, it's like... no way.

But then the other day, I saw this four year old kid playing outside all by himself. And I had to ask him what he was doing and how old he is and why he was by himself. That really surprised me.

[Good_ol_JR]

Originally Posted by lol_lol

yeah, you americans are fat and weak.

Yeah thats why we've had the World's best athletes and have dominated the Olympics ever since the USSR (most of their athletes were cyborgs so we don't count them) fell apart

[YOUSUFofSD]

we seem to like to use performance enhancing drugs to make sure we win of course, cause we are AMERICA, OOOH AMERICA!!!

[hijabihoodlum]

i grew up in the suburbs; it's not my fault.

but in my defense, i used to some crazy stuff when we visited bangladesh for summers. like play badminton on the roof. or make working stoves out of clay- and use them to cook stuff in coconut shells (rice!). or go fishing in our snake-infested pond.

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

my parents never really knew where I was as a kid either... I used to play in the woods behind my house, swing on trees splash in dirty ponds.. twas fun


but now there are so many child molestors. I can't imagine being so free with my kids in this day an age

[heba]

when we were kids, my relatives lived in the ghetto and wed play in the parking lot by their house near a closed down hospital throwing stuff at each other (ie-rocks..that little game was called "war" )

ohhhhh those were the days. we were bad. my little brother now roams the neighbourhood with his friends. doin god knows what. we love the great outdoors and getting down and dirty haha.

my family is still ghetto old school lebanese lol so basically we get in a fight and come home and get pat on the back for a job well done (okay maybe im exaggerating a bit...)

anyway..yeah..BOO to overprotectiveness. :

[hijabihoodlum]

Originally Posted by iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu

but now there are so many child molestors.

just as many existed "back then" too.