Bridal Wear

[sumiyia]

i like reading all the different views on this subject. i thought of more stuff to say but its maghrib time i gotta go pray.

[Shivermetimbers]

I went to a wedding recently, where they specified "No gifts. Please just come with your duas." Now, that was amazing.

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by Shivermetimbers

I went to a wedding recently, where they specified "No gifts. Please just come with your duas." Now, that was amazing.

masha'allah.. that's really sweet

[nooni]

Originally Posted by raatkirani2005

I find it funny that of all the "American/Western" traits the older generation picked up, the giving of boxed gifts at weddings is the one that was wholeheartedly adopted. I hate to sound cynical, but most "aunties" (non-relatives) don't spend time and effort on gifts, looking lovingly for something that will be just right for the new couple. They honestly look for the cheapest thing on the registry or something in the clearance bin.

In the old countries, the idea of giving a boxed gift was totally unheard of. You either gave cash, or if you were very close to the bride, you gave her jewelry. It's far easier to spend $10 on a toaster at Target and pretend it costs more than to actually give cash. And from my own experience, people went out of their way to give really cheap and useless gifts and/or hand me downs if they did give a boxed gift. I'm not ungrateful by any means, but it's far more practical to give $10 or $20 cash than to give a useless trinket. Especially when the couple is young and moving around, living in a tiny apartment, or living in the fully furnished home of their parents, cash is the best gift to give. The couple can save it or spend it as needed. I've been married 8 years now, and I acutally saved my wedding money to help me furnish our house when we bought one. If someone could only afford to give me $10, that came in much more handy than that silly cuckoo clock or that polyester sari (sans blouse, petticoat and fall of course) sitting deep in my parents' garage. People really need to get back to basics when it comes to gift giving. I know that in Italian-American families and Chinese-American families, it's cash gifts all the way at a wedding.

........

[sally]

Rain lives in the UK.

(11:32:33 PM) sally: what do u think abt the discussion in bridal wear?
(11:32:36 PM) sally: abt boxed gifts?
(11:32:43 PM) sally: and ppl who put no boxed gifts
(11:32:44 PM) Rain: i never read it
(11:32:46 PM) sally: on wedding invitations
(11:32:48 PM) sally: its SOOOOOO TACKY
(11:32:49 PM) sally: man read it.
(11:32:52 PM) Rain: lol
(11:32:58 PM) sally: theres ppl who do that here
(11:33:00 PM) sally: i dunno abt ur end
(11:33:29 PM) Rain: loll...they should just write: only money (£50 +) accepted
(11:33:42 PM) Rain: hmm, i think some do, not entirely sure though
(11:34:03 PM) Rain: i know my friend made a lot of money out of getting married
(11:34:09 PM) Rain: it was a primary reason
(11:34:16 PM) Rain: she was going to leave work and hunt for another job
(11:34:22 PM) Rain: and knew that funds would be low
(11:34:29 PM) Rain: so she got married
(11:34:35 PM) Rain: and made a good few grand out of it
(11:34:42 PM) Rain: which tied her over until she found a new job
(11:34:52 PM) Rain: of course, she didn't anticipate the pregnancy

[Rain]

Originally Posted by Shivermetimbers

I went to a wedding recently, where they specified "No gifts. Please just come with your duas." Now, that was amazing.

Indeed that is sweet, but was there a reciept with that in case you wanted to return a dua or two...?

[sally]

Originally Posted by Rain

Indeed that is sweet, but was there a reciept with that in case you wanted to return a dua or two...?

LOL!

[zakk]

You could always bill your wedding as one of those desi raves:


DJ Aunty and MC Uncle present

Wedding Masala 2008!!!!!!

Starring:

(Bride)
and
(Groom)

Live DJ and Qaari!!!!!
January 25, 2008
Shahnawaz Shaadi Hall
Appetizers Start at 6 pm!

Admission:
Adults: $50 Children: $3,500
(prepaid only - sorry, no tickets available at door)
Free dinner and dessert included in admission price! (cake extra)

Call Now For Tickets! (major credit cards accepted!)
(123) 555-9090

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by zakk

You could always bill your wedding as one of those desi raves:

totally unrelated, but i love your sig

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by Shivermetimbers

I went to a wedding recently, where they specified "No gifts. Please just come with your duas." Now, that was amazing.

That's cute and all, but like... if they really didn't want anything, they could've asked for money and donated it to a charity.

[displaced]

isn't this thread called "bridal wear"?

[Sha_]

Originally Posted by raatkirani2005

I'm not ungrateful by any means, but it's far more practical to give $10 or $20 cash than to give a useless trinket. Especially when the couple is young and moving around, living in a tiny apartment, or living in the fully furnished home of their parents, cash is the best gift to give. The couple can save it or spend it as needed. I've been married 8 years now, and I acutally saved my wedding money to help me furnish our house when we bought one. If someone could only afford to give me $10, that came in much more handy than that silly cuckoo clock or that polyester sari (sans blouse, petticoat and fall of course) sitting deep in my parents' garage.

I don’t see why ‘no boxed gifts’ as a suggestion is offensive really. Okay I guess it does sound a bit snobby....but I guess the reason behind it makes sense. I think what raatkirani said makes a lot of sense.
When my brother got married we did have loads of extra items. A few rice-cookers, a few toasters (one used …we found crumbs inside it ) sandwich toasters, clocks, kettles. The thing is, if that’s happening, if you’re saying ‘just return it for store credit’ (which we did with as many things as possible), well in the end it’s the money that’s coming in handy, not the boxed gift, whether it be just £15 or whatever it doesn’t matter. The other thing we did was giving some unwanted gifts to other people’s weddings (people we’re not particularly close to). We kept the rest in the attic, and used 1 rice-cooker and about 3 of the kettles.

People are saying that you should appreciate what you get you shouldn’t get to ask for no boxed gifts, but if you’re returning it or giving it away because its something you don’t need then you’re not really using or caring about that persons gift (and I dunno, it seems kind of...rude that we give things away or gave stuff back to the shop but then again... what else are you going to do with stuff you don’t need… )
So it seems better/nicer in a way that if people give money you know the couple are actually going to make use of that gift. Like someone said, don’t you want the couple to use your gift? And when people who do give well thought out personal gifts it's likely to be something that is not going to be the standard stuff that ends up being extras like clocks etc (so I dont think 'no boxed gifts' should be anything more than just a suggestion), but when you have weddings that a kabillion people are invited to, many of whom the couple aren’t particularly close to, you get a lot of the same standard type of gift, so you can understand the reason behind no boxed gifts, as a suggestion: they’re likely to just give it away, or return it for money(/store credit)- not through ungratefulness but rather not having any use for it. [And the point is not that ‘its such a hassle’, rather that they’re not going to use it…and if it’s one of those distant relatives/aquaintances that is not really bothered about/ doesn’t know what present to get, its probably easier for them to just give money anyways .]

Tbh, people dont seem to do that much here, coz I dont think theyre bothered really. First time I heard of it I thought it meant they wanted no gifts at all .And I've never seen a 'no children please' one.

Anyways:
I love the design of the back of this dress:

Originally Posted by displaced

[Sugarberry]

Originally Posted by displaced

isn't this thread called "bridal wear"?

I love how this dress is cut



i like the dress except for the extra fabric a the sholder...and i love the simplicity of the model's makeup.


love it





look shes wearing a curtain!

[displaced]

Originally Posted by Sugarberry

I love how this dress is cut

I don't know about the ruching at the hips..I think it tends to make the least hippy person look very child-bearing.

the second dress is gorgeous..

[Sugarberry]

So question ladies.... say it was up to you, like you were responsible for buying your own wedding dresses (s) ( cause i know some of you have more than one) how much would you spend? what would be your upper limit?