What's wrong with being fat? There's so much good that can come out of being fat.
- Think of all all the people that could use you as a pillow, you'd be helping to save a lot of geese
- You provide more body heat than a skinny person and that comes in handy when its cold outside, both for you and others who uh, may not have heavy jackets on hand.
- Fat people make better goalies in the net, than skinny people do. Think of all the Stanley Cup victories that you'll lead your team to! ... er, well not exactly but you get my drift.
- You make a GREAT airbag in the event of an accident - if someone else walks into you, I mean.
- If you need to beat someone up, all that extra mass comes in handy you know.
- If you need to clear the pool out FATS, [woops I mean FAST], then all you have to do is make like you're about to do a cannonball dive, and voila ... people will swim for their lives.
- You'll be SO much easier to spot in crowds. Skinny people just don't stand out.
- You can proudly say you beat anorexia.
Cheer up! Being fat aint all that bad!
