[Zam]

Originally Posted by Wolfn

My iman is lower than ever after going on a jamaat this weekend. Some scholar visited, and he had us reciet shahada, and I couldn't pronounce the first part correctly (I thought I was all this time), to which he said "do you even know what it translates to"

Then the leader of our jamaat was talking, and then he randomly pointed to me and asked if I knew what some Arabic word meant, and I didn't know, to which he said "look at our youth. They don't know anything". And he kept doing this all weekend long.

Then on the ride back, and someone said that one of Allah's (SWT) Days was like millions years in our time, so I inquired as to whether the Big Bang theory was possible because it says that earth was created in 6 days, so that would be billions of years in our time, which would make sense, and they were like "don't be ridiculous" and "only non-believers would say something like that, and you sound to me like a non-believer" and stuff like that.

And I'm really upset because I purposely failed a ten page test and an 8 page research paper so I could go on this jamaat, and I got nothing productive out of it. In fact, my iman is lower than ever now.

But yeah, I'm not sure if I'll go on another jamaat and I'm seriously thinking about not going to Jummah this Friday.

I've been with some good jamaat's, but I'll be honest with you, in general I avoid them because I feel they are a little close minded and sometimes harsh. In your case, they seemed to be very close minded.

It's sad that you had to have that experience, it's understandable that it can be very disheartening and can hurt. The best thing you can do is do du'a for those who have hurt you and said wrong things to you, that Allah forgive their faults, and then you will have the advantage over them since you spoke well of them to Allah while they spoke badly of you.

Some jamaats are also too entrenched in Indo-Pak mentalities, and are insensitive to the reality of Muslims around them. Believe me bro, if you are sincere in seeking truth and trying to be a good person, then don't worry about when others knitpick about you.

You made a big sacrifice to go on a journey for the sake of Allah which you thought would be beneficial and uplifting, but it turned out to be a sour experience. Expect that Allah's reward for what you did will be immense, and because you feel you didn't get anything out of it in this life, expect something great in the next for journeying for Allah's sake. Don't let Shaytan continue to make you feel as if you were at fault and as if you are deficient, and don't let him take you away from the ibadah that brings you closer to Allah.

Just like the earth travels around the sun creating seasons, we also have seasons with our imaan. And just like there is night and day, there is night and day with our imaan. All those moments that you felt close to Allah will come again, it is also a test from Allah that we feel far from Him at times because He then tests us whether or not we were worshiping Him for His sake or just for the good feeling of it. Keep seeking closeness to Allah and striving, I promise you that your imaan will bounce back and you will put such experiences behind you .