Quote:
Originally Posted by onetspvanilla
perhaps it's a difference in our respective upbringings, but to me, just because a man gives a modest mehr, doesn't make him any less undedicated or committed to a marriage than a man who shells out more. excuse my bluntness, but using the amount of mehr as a gauge of a man's willingness to "invest" in a marriage is just dumb.
but if one wishes to get married solely to be financially secure for the rest of her life then by all means, she should demand a high mehr and wait for the right bank account, er man to come along. however, by condemning all men who don't cough up extorbiant sums of mehr as "not worth marrying", it comes off as slightly naive.
btw, your take definitely doesn't seem feminist at all, because from what i take from it (correct if me i'm wrong) you are insinuating that for a woman, marriage is *the* designated route to financial stability. which i don't agree with but that's a different thread for a differnet day...  |
I agree. But for many girls, marriage really is a designated route to financial stability, not for everyone but alot of girls are solely dependant on their husbands once they are married and their own families are of no help if they get divorced. In the end, Allah is the provider and planner of all plans.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arabesque
We shouldn't encourage women to give up their right for mahr or reduce it to modest amounts.
Remember ladies, if men are interested in a car or a bike, they will put all their savings in it, even though a car or a bike breaks down very often and has a short life-span. A wife is a lifetime investment, and instead of wasting your money on repair parts and maintenance, she will give you children, clean your house, cook your food, wash your clothes ... etc.
If men don't want to invest in marriage, they're not worth marrying.
And I'm not being a feminist. Any self-respecting man will expect the same from anyone proposing to his sister/daughter.
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While I agree that girls should not be pressured to reduce their mahr to riduculously low amounts, I don't think its wise to judge a man solely on how much he can afford to give you. A man can be financially well off but not be responsible and mature to be married to.
Anyways, here's something useful.
Payments to and from the Bride in Islamic Law and Tradition