Quote:
Originally Posted by Timbit
If he's a student, then why's he getting married? 
If mahr is supposed to be your alimony in case of divorce, then why not ask for as much as possible?
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Mahr isn't alimony--that's just a myth. It's actually a wedding gift from the husband to the wife. The only thing is that the bride can defer the payment of the gift if she wishes, and that IF the couple divorces, and the husband hasn't paid it, he has to pay up at that time. You can't sweep it under the rug and pretend to forget about it. I think a lot of people confuse it for alimony (for which there is no concept of in Islam--Islamically, after a divorce, the woman would return home and be supported by her family, the children have a right to be maintained by their father) because of the fact that if you divorce, you have to pay it up. Because of this misunderstanding, people ask for exorbitant amounts of money and often times, that will deter men from getting married. If people would think of mahr as a wedding gift (similar to the way westerners give their brides rings, for example), there wouldn't be so much bad blood and sensitivity about this.
I went to a wedding of a close family friend, and the night before the wedding, the girl's dad asked for $100,000 in mahr for his money. That didn't sit well with the guy's family (our family friend) and they threatened to call off the whole thing. My dad talked to the girl's dad and explained to him that mahr was not alimony, and that in the US, she has some financial protection through the courts should the marriage not work. The groom's family offered $10,000, to which they agreed, but it's an understatement to say that there wasn't some tension afterwards between the fathers. If the girl's family had seen the mahr as a wedding gift, then even $1000 (along with the loads of jewelry and clothes she received) would seem like a good amount.