OK, so not all of these are halal. But they're still pretty funny.
TWENTY QUICK COME BACKS
1. What? And spoil my great sex life?
2. Why aren't you dating/divorced yet?
3. It gives my Mother/Father something to live for.
4. I'm not willing to give up on love just yet.
5. Just lucky, I guess.
6. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
7. Is this a proposal?
8. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
9. I'm waiting for you to get divorced so I can marry your wife/husband.
10. It didn't seem worth a blood test.
11. The mail order bride/groom hasn't arrived from Russia yet.
12. "I'm not done boozing and whoring"
13. Because having both a husband and a child would be redundant.
14. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
15. I'm waiting for your son/daughter to turn 18.
16. Because your [wifehusband] won't leave you
17. Why settle for just one.
18. "Because I haven't found a partner who can make me as happy as I make myself."
19. So I don't have to cheat on my left hand.
20. My prince charming made a wrong turn.