for any men reading this, members and non-members alike, if you are in this situation, especially if your ex-wife is a kaffir, i STRONGLY advise you to get in touch with a lawyer, who specializes in dealing with Men's rights. Our rights may have been squashed thanx to 40 year's of feminazi garbage, but we still have some say in family court, and a lawyer can help you with that.
Single Fathers’ Rights
By Peter Ehrlich
Web Site:
Single Parent Love Life | Single Parent Dating Site
Custody rights of single dads
Everything discussed in this article is predicated on two main ideas: that you “know” that you’re a good, loving father and that you want to play a significant role in your child’s life, and that you’re willing against all odds to get along with your ex -- the mother of your child -- to do so.
As individuals we all have rights, and that includes fathers.
While I have faith in the system, too often single dads have to build a case for meaningful access to their children. It’s easy to become angry and depressed when loving and committed fathers have to prove they are just that.
There is something damn unholy about it.
a case for fathers
To make matters even worse, sometimes a woman is so bitter about the breakup that she forgets about the welfare of the child involved, and goes out of her way to make it difficult for the well-intentioned father to build his case.
While these mothers say they love their children, I say they don’t.
Fathers must have meaningful access to their child. I believe:
- Separated mothers should risk losing the right to have their children live with them if they defy court orders and stop the children's fathers from seeing them.
- A single mother who refuses to let the child have anything to do with the father who is happy to continue positive contact between mother and child, should be ordered to hand over custody to the father.
- A single mother should be ordered to have a psychological assessment if there are no compelling reasons why she is not allowing the father to have meaningful access to the child.
the role of family court
And now I am going to comment on the family court system and offer up some hard truths.
Winston Churchill once said, “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” That’s partly how I feel about the family court system. It is not perfect government, but it meets societal expectations.
As a single father, I have faith in the system, and if you knew the pain and anguish I suffered in those stark and bitter halls of the court system, you would know what an incredible statement this is.
I have faith, even though I found the truth to be that courts favor the mother. But there are valid reasons for this. For a judge to agree to a 50/50 split, he has to be convinced the relationship between the couple is solid. This doesn’t happen often.
The fact is, if you’ve been with someone for 10 years and are separating; for all intents and purposes you’ve been breaking up and suffering for three. By the time you get to court you’re not going to say, “Hey, darling ex, want to go for a burger and a shake after we’re done here?”
the practicality of favoring moms
If the judge doesn’t believe that your post-breakup is truly amicable, and he foresees that you’re both going to be coming back to court, he is going to favor the mother for access for practical reasons.
The judge doesn’t want you coming back. Court battles compromise the emotional stability of the child. That’s why it’s so important to be willing to work with the mother of your child if you want joint custody.
What are these practical reasons?
- Usually it’s the father who heads out to work while the mother spends the first few months at home with the child.
- The mother either continues to be with the child or sets out to coordinate other forms of daycare, and is a part of the child’s early life in that way.
Personally, aside from the practical, we guys must allow for primal considerations before going completely mental from access imbalance.
Consider the child’s natural affinity to the mother: The baby lived inside your ex for nine months and then spent another eight attached to her breast.
There is a reason why a dying soldier’s last words are “Help me, mama,” and not “dada.”
Fathers have the primal right to be with their child, absolutely -- but never at the expense of the child. If you know in your heart that you will never be able to be civil to your ex, and are always going to fight in front of your child, then you know what you must do: Excuse yourself from the situation until you are ready to work with Mom because it hurts your child if you cannot.
How? You want your child to be in a healthy and happy relationship when they get older, right? Well, the only way that’s going to happen is if your children are able to “learn” something about good relationships from you. If all they witness is fighting, they’re going to think that’s normal and -- guess what? -– the person they invite into their life one day will yell and scream at them.
taking the high road
We great fathers, for the sake of peace of mind, must acknowledge that there are really compelling and valid reasons why the courts favor the mother. Instead of slowly committing emotional suicide, compromising our own happiness and -- more importantly -- that of our beautiful children, maybe it’s time, against all odds, to e-mail your ex and write this sentence: “For the sake of our child, let’s make peace.”
Peter Ehrlich is a marketing and communications guy who works in Toronto, Canada. He is a proud single dad to Noah. Aware that dating as a single parent is completely different than just dating as a single man, he created a provocative and popular online dating site called Single Parent Love Life | Single Parent Dating Site. Peter has been interviewed extensively on television, radio and in print for his take on the paradigm of the fastest-growing family type worldwide: the hip, sexy and nurturing single parent. If you’d like to talk to Peter about working together or just want to say something, he invites you to write him at pehrlich@sympatico.ca.