eh, when different records are seen together it's easy and assuring to deduce that it is better not to hit your wife but it doesn't change the fact that the verse exists. It exists as a certainty, the meaning is not ambiguous, it exists. That comes with the assumption that someone who beats his wife because he fears she will be disloyal to him will not get punished for doing so.
That comes with the assumption that the quran is literal and the above verse does not merely relate to a certain context which no longer exists.
I'm not trying to be awkward, i'm just tired of excuses. Bringing other hadith which are all really sweet to cover this one isn't going to make it go away, speculating that the word 'daraba' actually means to separate and all those people got it wrong for so many centuries isn't going to make me feel at ease
and no, "beating lightly" is not better
