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Originally Posted by Arabesque
Islam recognises the status of a mother as more important and vital than that of a father. I know what you mean when you say that both parents are responsible for raising the kids, but at the early stages of a child's life, the mother is the most important care provider. I could be wrong, but from what I've seen and experienced, the child becomes aware of the father and his role only later in life. Say at the age of 4 or 5. Before that, it's the mother the child needs most.
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I reckon you're wrong, i live with a 6 month year old monster. He recognises his dad straight away and loves to be with him. A lot of men say the mother is primary care provider, simply because they don't know what level of care is involved with taking care of a small baby. It's not very difficult, breast feeding can't be done by a guy but the mother can express milk for times when the father is looking after the baby, the dad is fully capable of changing a babys nappy and entertaining him/her. That's all thats needed when the baby is small, that level of care can be provided by both mother and father.
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I understand, but breast-feeding is just one aspect. The rights of children and the parents' duty towards them is more than just that. While Islamic education mostly focuses on the rights of the parents and the duty of kids towards them, there's also a huge domain about the rights of children. If I remember the title of the book that discusses that, I'll share.
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It would be silly for someone to have children if they didn't do as much as they could to bring happiness and understanding of life in general to the child. It doesn't take a book to understand that. Plus, i doubt whether Islam truly has mother/father divide on how to look after kids as the work on home weren't very much separated in the 7th century. Of course, after then, culture has dictated what should happen in a family home. Now that culture doesn't always take a primary role in a persons life and does not always shape their opinions/beliefs, i again, urge it is an issue for the couple to discuss between themselves.
There is no universal way to bring up a child. It's different in different situations and making a template as to what is "islamically" correct would not be fair for the parents or children if its not usefully applicable in their case.
The main priority is to be attentive to your child and aware of what would make them feel more comfortable in balance with what might be good for them in the future and as a progression of their own character. However, my theories are hypothetical as i have no children of my own. I am sure if i am wrong, one of the amazing mothers/fathers who visit islamica will correct me or enlighten me on my discrepancies.