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Originally Posted by Arabesque
I agree. You can focus on your career and your ambitions, until you have kids. Then it becomes the husband's business, I'm afraid. He has the right to want his kids to be raised by their mother, not some nanny or a grandmother.
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i don't believe that, since the children are born from both parents, both parents have the responsibility of coming to an agreement as to what will be best for the children and for themselves. Looking after children requires yourself to be sane as well and it's important for both parents to get some sort of enjoyment from somewhere. If they are happy, they will give that happiness to their children. In this case, both parents may need to sacrifice or maybe just one, either way it should be a decision made with loads of discussion and understanding from each other.
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I'm sure that one of the factors men take into consideration when marrying a woman is whether or not they'd like for her to mother their kids. Mothering is more than just carrying the baby for 9 months and then delivering it. Why should he allow for his child to feed from a bottle, simply because the wife is busy with work and can't take frequent breaks to feed the child? It's not reasonable, and it's not right. Forget the husband. It's not right for the kids.
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Maternity leave has been extended to 9 months now i think, which is adequate time to breast feed and wean your baby depending on when you want your child to be weaned.
That if course depends again on what the parents want. Personally, as i've said before, i would love to stay at home and homeschool my children. I don't trust the National Curriculum.
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If your life is all about you, then don't have kids. Or don't get married. Just keep in mind that you are accountable in front of Allah when He gifts you with a child. If you have other priorities, then don't ask for that gift. That's all I'm saying.
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The mother is not solely responsible for the children, a lot of people always think the fathers only function is to provide financial security for the children. I know that's not always easy but i know it's not enough. If a couple were both to work part time and looked after the children between themselves, that would be perfect for some people and the father would play more of a role in the childrens lives instead of being a figure who comes home tired in the evenings and sits in the corner.