Quote:
Originally Posted by Timbit
Well, that's her choice... but how long is she gonna do that? Maternal leave is what? A year at the most? You don't need to stay home until your kids are grown up and out of the house. You can work part-time or from home if your job allows it.
I just hate to see women screwing themselves over.
I'm not saying it never works out and you shouldn't trust your spouse. Obviously, you should only marry them if you trust them. My mom has rarely worked outside the home in her life and she's doing okay, 'cause my dad supports her and all of us. But too often, it doesn't work out like that. Anything can happen to your husband... and then you have to work, but it's hard tp find a job if you've been out of the workforce for years.
Lots of women leave their kids at daycares or with nannies or family members. Why should they be made to feel guilty about it? Oftentimes people are like "Oh, she doesn't have to work so why does she? She should stay home with her kids."
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I see what you're saying, but I don't see why a woman should be career-oriented to feel fulfilled. She chose to get married, and I'm sure she had a say regarding having a child, so why does a woman have to feel like she's been cheated into this arrangement where she'd have to give up her life? Isn't this her life, too?
What is more important? A woman's career or her children, who will have to grow up used to her absence? What's the point of being a mother if you don't want to take care of the kids yourself, and don't want to feel guilty about it, too? People should fear Allah. Kids are
amanah from Allah. You want them to carry out their duties towards you; do the same to them. Otherwise they won't feel like they'd need to treat you with respect and reverence. I'm sure the nanny or whoever takes care of them would be more deserving of that.
When a woman chooses to be a mother, that's a career by itself. I don't know why some women can't see how equally fulfilling that is, just like any other full time job. You may not get official promotions and big titles on a business card you can hand out to people, but you'll have a nice family life and successful children. And of course, reward from Allah.
I have a younger sister who is about to get married. When our young cousins come over, she watches them screaming and jumping on the sofas, smashing everything right and left ... she confides to me, "I'm never going to have kids like that. I'll teach them to behave." But my sister wants to have a career, and she's most probably going to have helpers at home ... so there you go. When is she going to teach them? Weekends? I know she'll come home to kids who aren't exactly what she had planned for them to be. It's your choice.