Quote:
Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
Can you give me an example - either public or from your own knowledge - where a woman who did not have such a contract, got "totally screwed over" in a divorce, despite the professional assistance of a divorce lawyer? In the majority of cases, its the guy that gets screwed over
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I also disagree with the bolded and italicized section. If a woman gives up her career for the family and then later gets divorced, her financial status is likely to decline, and her earning potential will be less than it would be otherwise because of the years outside of the workforce and opportunities not pursued. There's a wealth gap where divorced women have less money than divorced men (standard of living decreases about a third, and men's standard of living increases by about a tenth) yet typically have custody of the children. Yes, the men are supporting two households, but the money that they give to the other household is capped, whereas it wasn't before.
But since you asked for an example, I know a few physicians whose first wives supported them through medical school and residency and then stayed home with the kids when the husbands became attendings. Later, the husbands decided to get younger second wives, divorced the first wives and now the the first wives are living in rather poor conditions. It happens all the time. I grew up with kids whose dads left their moms and then they wound up living with a much lower standard of living and visiting their dads on the weekends in a much nicer, cooler house. And not just American kids - Muslim ones too (only two Muslim kids though I'm afraid it's getting more common).
Rarely does it happen that a man will have to give up more than 50% of the assets accumulated during the marriage. But, the definition of "screwed over" also depends on how you view money in the marital relationship. If you view assets accumulated during the relationship as a joint venture, it is obviously very different than if you don't. If a man has a stay at home wife, he has someone to take care of details at home, do household chores etc, that frees him to do work (and there are studies indicating that married men are more successful in the workplace than their single counterparts). However, if you think that the work that women do at home is easier than working and anyone can do it (which is what people here have said in the past) then you will think it is unfair that the man has to give money that he earned to his wife. In any case, it's definitely good to discuss these things with potential spouses beforehand, but it's one of those things where you don't really know how it will turn out until decisions have to be made.