Assalamu alaikum and I pray everyone is having a good day of Eid.
First of all, I was speaking of a very few individuals that I came across over the years, obviously not everyone. And I think some of you have correctly identified the reasons. I think its because of segregation between brothers and sisters, many people just never learned how to interact comfortably with members of the opposite sex. Especially Muslim members of the opposite sex, because they feel the need for 'Islamic teachings' to be upheld more strictly. Interestingly, they are more comfortable interacting with non-Muslim members of the opposite sex than Muslims, and I think the reason for that is that the Muslim person in question feels there is no chance of a marital connection with non-Muslims, whereas with Muslims there is a chance, and from that arises shyness at some level.
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Originally Posted by MoonStar
it's possible that she's just rude/lacks social skills. Or she's really shy. Or she doesn't know you well and wonders why you're talking to her, try smiling/be friendly when you say salaam.
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I think it is the above reasons.
It would be nice if Muslim brothers and sisters were much more comfortable with being around one another, were friendly and passed greetings of Salam without that guilt which they seem to carry.
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Originally Posted by shadha
Hmm, the only time where I would be treated rudely for being female and in 'close space' is when two or three brothers in the Masjid who have a religious heart-attack if they see a sister outside of the designated sisters room. They have claimed it to be zina. They have even came up to me and ask me why I am outside the room or they would attempt to wave me back into the room. 
shadha- |
It's unbelievable isnt it? I know what you're saying is true, even the mere existance of a woman and a man in a given space is somehow Zina. I had heard all of that too.
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Originally Posted by bluey
And sometimes being rude is an automatic defense mechanism if you're nervous/shy/worried or simply not used to talking to the opposite gender. Believe me. 
I think It is the same for Muslim Brothers who sometimes come of as rude or angry towards Muslim Sisters. It's not like they hate us, but being rude is a sort of facade. [? - I could be wrong here.] |
You are right. But none of it can justify not being friendly and courteous to a brother or sister. Why can you not smile and be kind to a fellow brother or a sister? I know its because of the years of negative influence. But I strongly feel Muslims who have identified this 'problem' should try to overcome these feelings and change themselves in this regard.
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Originally Posted by zzze
asslaamu alaykum
Some girls are very hostile towards their fellow ''brothers'' simple because they assume he's going to hit on them. Why? Beause they were a hijaab  This is both justified and unjustified, demanding on the amount f harrassment that she receive ona daily basis from 'muslim' men - she may just have her guard up.
She may be shy.
Or she may just be on her period. |
You are very right on that point. But this is just an irrational feeling based on no real grounds, because chances are, the brother or the sister is not interested in you that way.
However, even if they were, no body is going to force you to marry that person! You can dismiss things without resorting to taking up a rude attitude. So you should continue to interact politely and in a friendly manner and do/say everything under these terms.