Female Friend: So I was on the subway, right? And this guy was like "I like your shoes" and I was like "Uhhh... thanks" and then he was like "I like your thighs"
Male Friend:
You should've been like "Uh, I like this stop. I'm getting off here."
Non-Religious Friend while we're all watching some Christian music concert: And this is why I'm not a religious man!
Me: Wait, why?
Him: That guy just sang "God is good!"
Me and other Muslim friend:
God
is good.