Oki, so ANYWAY, I think I came up with an idea, hear me out.
Fact of the matter is, I have postponed finishing my education for poor excuses and for too long. I need to finish my education and start my career. I can't continue working these jobs where I'm barely making enough, actually I'm not, to survive. So, InshaAllah tomorrow? I'm going to try to call a community college and speak with them about taking a few courses during this summer or fall semester. Specifically Chemistry with Lab and Biology with Lab. I'm scared. Not only have I not been in school for years, but while I was in school I never had to learn how to study and I basically bs-ed my way through both HS and my associates degree. Did a pretty damn good job at bs-ing, considering I graduated with 4.0/3.9 but that's besides the point. It also doesn't help that I have always, and still do, hated school but again if I want to better my life, I have to do things that I may not like. Tough cookies.
Oki, so I'll try those two courses and InshaAllah, INSHAALLAH, I will pass and try to get into the dental hygiene program come Feb. I'll file for financial aid first thing in Jan. If I get accepted into the program, I'll try to do schooling through summer etc. Really put my all into it, i.e., actually apply myself.
If I InshaAllah really apply myself and give this thing my all, I'll graduate by age 22/23.
The only issue I'm facing- when to have kids. I don't think it's the right time now or in a year or even two to have a child. If I'm not happy and am always stressing, constantly to the point where I become ill, over the situation I'm in now- why would I bring a children into the picture? I'm thinking it might be best if I do wait until after I graduate. Maybe 23/24. Have a child or two and be done with it. Boom bam, than you ma'am type of deal.
Oki, so as of June 20th, 2008. This is my plan. Let's see if I can execute it. InshaAllah.
If you have an extra 5secs to spare, pray for me.
shadha-