You're only in control of yourself. You can't make people grateful, appreciative or any of the things you wish they would be. All you are in control of is how YOU react to things and you're only responsible for that. Try your best and the rest is out of your hands.
Being angry and bitter are futile, cause they won't have any impact on your friend or make her suddenly appreciate all the things you have done. If she suddenly seems "holier than thou" then say alhamdulillah and act in the way that is in accordance with Islam.
Whatever she did before marriage is between her and Allah. Allahu Alim...she may be better than all of us in so many other ways.
Its really hard when people don't acknowledge our efforts
, but its also a lesson in humility and it reminds us that we should do things ONLY for the sake of Allah, not for any recognition or praise. When we do things for the sake of Allah the outcome is of less importance.
Mash'Allah it was great that you did so much for her and may Allah reward you for your good.