Quote:
Originally Posted by Salika
I wrote my nikkah agreement (hubz asked me to) and it was kind of prenupish but I saw it purely as legal and devoided any emotion. My in-laws kind of took it the wrong way though. Alhamdulillah I probably won't need it though but I figured better safe than sorry. I encouraged him to put whatever he wanted but he didn't
Anyways, husband and wife are not equal in the marriage, but there should be equity. Neither is inherently superior or inferior than the other.
Jaysh 
It's a bad idea to view marriage is one of obedience-disobedience. I think once you put a woman in that mindset, she'll actually be more likely to "rebel." |
^ true.
about obedience and disobedience, respect-disrespect and so on...it all really boils down to knowing each others rights (huqooq) In Islam.
meaning, everyone is aware of their own rights, but they have failed to learn, understand and implement the rights of their spouse. If anything, one should learn the rights of their spouse beforehand, this should be discusses prior to the marriage; if both parties have done their part to understand each others proper status, limits and boundrise. It's very vital..b/c it eases things in the future if, (Allah forbid) issues were to arise.
obedience being required, but along w that comes respect. if any ones spouse is to wave in the face such requests...the relationship would most probably start to become very shallow and empty. The other member would most probably withdraw in disgust.
Ppl marry w/ the understanding that obedience is to be given ( at the proper level that each of their stations require.) It is not something that is repeatedly requested. if that is the case, it will most probably be given, but at the expense of respect. The relationship will start to deteriorate.
Obedience comes w/ respect. If u give respect, u will receive obedience along w/ love. No, the two are not equal, one is the leader and the other is the follower...but both are humans and they both deserve to respect each other, that is the islamic and moral thing to do.
respect in the since of opinions, values, and beliefs. ..etc.
and when one is at fault..it's the best to accept your mistakes and let the mess defuse at once, ...all of this is intertwined and related to obedience...sadly, now days ppl fail to see ..if they know a little about Islam they demand their wives to be subservient and they the dictator, of course, the wife refuses such treatment and she fires back, the unexpected
...and that's the end.
Marriage can be, relationship of majun and layla..besides being one of, in command and the other subservient. However, w/ love, companionship and obedience the husband must do his part and have his wife as QUEEN...in order for leader-follower & majnun and layla relationship to co-exist together..and the marriage to flourish. ( I.A.)
ws.