Quote:
Originally Posted by Variable
While I don't have a problem if all parties involved are consenting (in the case of children it's pretty hard to do however)
But I don't buy these pre-disposition arguments about how it's natural for a man to have many child-bearers. And to me it doesn't mean a whole lot whether most socieities have practiced polygamy or not - most have practiced slavery. It seems to me it's more of a situation in which one powerful element impresses on a less powerful element an outlook that's favourable to the former, presenting it as though it's 'normal' and 'natural' order of things... whereas it's really just a matter of the powerful taking full advantage of their position.
|
i'm sure if i went off on the whole why it's permissable in islam reasoning, you would lose interest because it's been posted so many times on this forum.
marriage is big in islam. it's supported by lots of rulings and there is concrete and explicit commentary shedding light on the misfortune of the person who fails to live up to his or her duties. there are lots of obligations and bindings that come with the islamic marital contract. one of those is that a man is obligated to protect and provide for his wife. there is no way out of it. he's answerable to the Almighty for causing the slightest inconvenience due to failing to do his part. it's huge, no hanky panky business.
anyway, there's always a deeper reasoning behind why things are and arent the way they are. The Divine knows much more than you and i. there's no point denying that much. our brains are limited. but perhaps it is best understood this way: polygyny became permissable when women (daughters, wives, mothers) became fatherless/mahramless/sonless/husbandless...their kids without fathers or any other male guardians. it didn thelp that the majority of these women didnt have means of sustaining themselves financially.. and so, in order to provide these women with a solid means of support, polygyny became the norm? i mean, sure, a random man can provide for a random woman, but he can also drop out of the ballgame any time he wants. he has nothing binding him to his word. so then, that responsibility doesnt hold much weight for a woman who really needs permanent support to raise her kids and keep food on the table.
and hence, polygyny is not light on the man either. it's a test really. if it's hard for the woman, it's hard on the man too. it's sometimes impossible for a man to understand the nature of a woman completely. and then sometimes he might but he'll lack insight on the proper way to deal with her, etc. so imagine having to deal with more than one wife? providing for more than one wife, more than 2 kids, etc? oh yeah, and then you have to answer to Allah, dont forget. bummer.
don't know. the way things look right now (world food crises and what not) ...sounds like a lot for a man to handle. esp if you live in a third world country and aren't a politician or king or prince or ...doctor? ha ha.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Variable
No not at all. It leaves me with something of a sick feeling to see males persist in pressing the fact that it's their divine right. And insist on doing so even when the girls involved in the conversation are saying that they personally wouldn't be comfortable with it in their own relationships, at which point they're disparaged in a variety of ways.
|
does it make you about as sick, or more, to think of a man seeking out another mans wife?
anyway. i'm a woman here. and we're known to be very emotionally driven. so take it from me. yes, it is upsetting when muslim men talk about this topic insensitively. but it is important to try to seperate that attitude and the feelings that come from that attitude from what is permissable by islam. which, btw, has numerous laws that protect women, especially those in polygynous relationships.
anyway i can just sit here and talk. i have no first hand experience. and i still struggle with things sometimes. but alhamdulillah if i didnt struggle i wouldnt exactly be human. or a woman.