Quote:
Originally Posted by Variable
If they thought they were allowed to they might. In any case, whenever this topic comes up, and guys - despite their assurances one woman is enough for them - go on to press the point that it's their right to have more than one wife... and take every opportunity to disparage women who would feel uncomfortable if it were to ever be an issue in their own relationships.... I'm left with a, sickened? feeling that I have a hard time articulating.
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men and women are different.
a man would never, and should never (evolutionarily speaking even) be okay with sharing a wife...
women are more relaxed. yes, envy is a part of that sort of relationship. but in the end, the majority of the worlds societies have considered and practiced polygyny as a norm, and not the other way around.
anyway, you're basically saying that for a guy to defend his right that he can have more than one wife is as disgusting as a guy looking at a married woman lushut uplly........?
i dont know. i'm not perfect. it does bother me sometimes when guys, especially on islamica, (since it's the only place i've ever seen this right defended to death, but i think it's because a lot of people kid around too..)
anyway, it does bother women. especially when the guys make insensitive comments. but, at the end of the day, i still follow the teachings of the Prophet PBUH. i'm still muslim. and i have to accept whether it is or isnt in my comfort zone, whatever is and isnt permissable.
i think it takes a lot of woman-courage to be able to let your husband take another wife. i have a lot of respect for women who are okay with that or have to go through that and who ultimately have good to say about it and even if they have a choice to step out of such a relationship, they dont.
in the past, i would react extremely emotionally to this concept. it didnt make sense to me. but astaghfirullah. i have ultimately begun to accept it as a reality that does occur..and yes, there are positive examples out there. it doesn't have to happen to me. but can it? yes..there's always a possibility. it's better to accept it than to deny it all along. if it happens to you, then you're at least not dumbfounded.
ive learnt to acknowledge that the nature of man is very different. and that the nature of woman has has the inherent potential and capability of being that incredibly courageous and tolerant. it is a gift from Allah swt. we are inherently nurturing and forgiving and accepting. and strong hearted. alhamdulillah for that.