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Originally Posted by displaced
really? what are your "kingly" qualities?
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I'm amazing.
Aside from that though, you missed the point of my analogy. Actually, my analogy was a rewording of the wise words told to me by an older Muslim guy who said to me:
"Treat your wife like a princess, but always remember that you are the king."
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let me preface what I'm about to say with this: I don't think a marriage can be 50-50 and am alright with conceding to my husband not because I have to
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Do you know that a wife has to obey her husband in whatever he asks her to do, unless he asks her to do haram? She is not even allowed to leave the house without his permission.
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does having a penis automatically make you worthy of respect? absolutely not.
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That is a very crude way to put it. Astagfur-Allah. "When haya is lost, then do as you please!"
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Originally Posted by Salika
I wrote my nikkah agreement (hubz asked me to) and it was kind of prenupish but I saw it purely as legal and devoided any emotion. My in-laws kind of took it the wrong way though. Alhamdulillah I probably won't need it though but I figured better safe than sorry. I encouraged him to put whatever he wanted but he didn't
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Exactly. I don't see how there is anything wrong with asking for one.
I mean, if I divorce my wife, chances are we are on bad terms, and I certainly don't want to give her half of my stuff.
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Anyways, husband and wife are not equal in the marriage, but there should be equity. Neither is inherently superior or inferior than the other.
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I agree with this. Yes, neither man nor wife is superior or inferior in essence or in the eyes of God. Yet, it should be clear--and I think Sister Salika would know this--that the husband has a higher rank of authority than the wife, just like the mother has a higher rank than the son, etc.
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Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo
As for the obedient thing. I wonder if people are reading obedient, and thinking subsurvient. In Islam, women are still allowed to not "obey" their husbands if he asks something outrageous.
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You are just playing with wording. The general rule is that the wife must obey the husband in all matters, unless he asks her for something haram. So the matter is the same as mother to son.
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Originally Posted by heba
jaysh, God help the woman who marries you. really, thats like a sincere duaa. poor poor girl
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Oh come on, you of all people know how many girls wish to be that poor girl.
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Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo
I knew a guy who used to say the same crap about the girl he would marry. Then he got married and did a complete 180. He was totally under her foot! I wonder if the same thing will happen if Jaysh ever gets married, one can hope right?
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Haha, I'm not even denying it. I'll be totally dependent on my wife emotionally. That's just the way I am. I will treat her like a princess insha-Allah. Yet, I will use the iron fist policy on some issues, such as talking to other guys, what clothes she wears, etc. I will further not tolerate any 'bathameezi' in language nor her raising her voice; today, we have women saying 'shut up' and things like that to their husband. I will not at all tolerate that.
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Originally Posted by shadha
Totally agreed upon.
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Surprise, surprise!
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Ibn: I'm a blue personality and I'd rather just be nice and generous if it all came down to a split and leave on good terms rather than having to deal with the bitter acrimony of having to enforce the prenup and maintain a facade.
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Bro, that doesn't make much sense. If you are getting a divorce, then reality dictates that you are already NOT on good terms. Most likely you will be at a state of war with her if that were the case.
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Originally Posted by Spice
Most men who churn out pre-nup garbage drop their gaurd after falling for a woman and end up totally whipped. They pretty much forget all about it.
We just seem to have that kind of affect  |
That's very true. Hence, the preemptive measures!
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Originally Posted by Spice
and if I were about to MARRY a guy who was fretting over having me sign a bunch of prenup garbage I'd roll it up and smack him back to his senses.
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But why? Is it just because you want to have half his stuff? To this, I'm sure you will say "I won't need his stuff" which is the typical rhetoric of girls...yet, it's just rhetoric, because when things go sour, the first thing they do is try to get half his stuff. If you really don't want or need half his stuff, then prove it and sign a document!