Quote:
Originally Posted by sally
i think salika is just trying to point out that some people just dont have the desire in them to give others the silent treatment or curse them out. she's really just talking about the way people deal with their anger, not that it's never going to happen
the way you deal with your temper and anger can heavily influence the argument by either making it worse for everyone (blown out of proportion if it's a small issue, etc) or it can do you good
and sometimes things aren't so black and white. if someone doesn't feel their point is being understood by the other person, they'll do things like give someone the silent treatment to make a point. but again, another person in the same exact situation might just be like, ok, we need some space. let's get out of each other's faces for a while, thanks.
it's kind of like, you don't absolutely have to resort to cursing. there are better ways and just because it is seen as a little more acceptable if a guy does it or couples do it then that doesnt mean it makes it ok.
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Thanks sally, that's right
Sugarberry, as I mentioned before, I do see a difference between cooling off and giving the silent treatment. Silent "treatments" are often done to prove a point and that's the end. With cooling off, the silence is a means to reconciliation so that you don't say anything in anger. People who give silent treatments, from what I've seen, are simply just trying to show how angry they are and expect that person to come crawling back with apologies. Cooling off is just waiting until you can sit down and discuss it properly but your mindset is, unlike silent treatment, reconciliation.
What I've seen with my parents is that one person will get angry and give the silent treatment for days, sometimes even a week or two. The person would apologize and apologize and still... silent treatment. By the time that person stops with the silent treatment, the other person would get angry for making such a big deal out of it and not seeing that they are wrong too and then *they* would give the silent treatment and it becomes this cycle.
Sometimes if I get very upset with my siblings I *don't* tell them "don't talk to me" but rather I say "talk to me later when I'm not as upset" so they know I just want to cool down. I've noticed that sleeping on these things does wonders and the next day we discuss it or often times we both forgot about it. I just find these "treatments" as disruptive and do more harm than good (even if it's just a day). But if it works for some people then hey.
I hope that makes the difference clear... that's how I view things at least, you don't have to agree.