Quote:
Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo
 I'm sorry, but reall did make me becuase when you say "I'm in sales" I got this mental picture of you putting an add out to sell your wife if they ever did something aweful. |
hahahaha
no, what I meant was several things all in one:
1) Being in sales means being able to successfully, and in a timely manner, reach a deal or compromise on a two-way street that's mutually acceptable to both parties. In marriage,of course there are a lot of compromises you may have to make, but I'm going to make sure I do my due diligence before marriage to make sure she won't potentially demand something from me along the way that would cross a red line and force me to compromise on something that may potentially lead to separation or divorce.
It also means that yeah you know, she may have her charms to get whatever she wants, but I have mine too.
I know how to sell an idea or concept, a product or service, [I do it day in, day out] and if in case during our marital life we run into a roadblock, you can sure as hell be certain that I'll be selling my side of the story to her in order to prevent that roadblock from turning into a deal-breaking situation.
DISCLAIMER: All you haters who think I'll be treating marriage like a business transaction, kindly STFU and keep it to yourself losers.
2) It also reflects the attitude I have on life - cautious optimism. No one survives in sales if they have a pessimistic outlook - they'd just double-over and die in a week. To me, a pre-nup just sends a bad message from the very beginning of the marriage, it puts a bit of tension into the relationship that I personally would rather not have. Its kinda like saying: "This pre-nup means I have eyes on the back of my head, so you can't stab me in the back or screw me over." ,........ uhhh, hello? I married you because I loved you for all that you are, why would I wanna screw you over? I'm very easy-going and tolerating of a lot of bad habits, yet at the same time I'd be there to raise her up every time she trips or falls, no doubt.
I'm desi, maybe that has something to do with it - we hate divorces and we hate divorces even more when there's kids in the picture. I'd work real hard to make sure the girl I was marrying was right for me in the first place, that we had discussed the potential risks and trouble spots beforehand, so that if things ever got so ugly, we had mostly anticipated them in advance and were mentally prepared to work them out. And again, I'm in sales and its my job to convince people if I have sufficient vested interest in doing so. One of the things that we do when discussing partnerships, arrangements, or even before signing contracts, is risk management. We talk about all the What Ifs, so that everyone can make a proper decision before putting pen to paper. But business is business, and marriage is not.
3) Of course the possibility [and not probability] exists that things could end really badly and we split. In that case I'd rather remember her for all the good things I know about her as per nabeyuna Muhammad's statement advising us "not to hate any believing woman because if we dislike something in her, there are still many other things that are good in her" [paraphrased and translated] - and because of that I'd give her the lion's share [pun not intended] of what I have at that time to make sure she's well off and then again - because I'm in sales - and account executives who have established track records are always in demand whether the economy is going up or down; I'd just go out and work hard to reestablish myself financially, bi'idhnellah.
Alhamdulillaah we'd have an amicable parting.
Money [and everything you can buy with it] is transient, and so is this life. If things ever got so bad and she wanted to leave and there was no way I could make her stay, then I'd sit down and give her a very comfortable package. Even if she wanted the house we were living in, I'm the kinda guy who'd probably even shrug and say "sure baby, its yours" - because BIG WOOP I can easily go out and work and get another house. I have absolute confidence in myself and in Allah's Mercy that I'll be able to do that.
I'm a blue personality and I'd rather just be nice and generous if it all came down to a split and leave on good terms rather than having to deal with the bitter acrimony of having to enforce the prenup and maintain a facade.