[Khairan]

Originally Posted by vegetables

Assalamu Alaykum,

Reading this is exactly what had happened to my sister word for word. It started out exactly how you described and got even worse to the point that she is not allowed to contact us in anyway ever again because according to her and her husband "we have hurt her enough".
Long story short he kicked her out at 4am and we had to go pick her up, he got drunk and wrote our family an EXTREMEMLY disturbing email which got him arrested, restraining orders and fired from his job. He continued to send emails saying he wasn't sorry for what he did and he just had this extremely arrogant attitude. In the end she went back to him because "in Islam your spoused to be loyal to your husband"...........
His family has no idea all this has happened. In fact I'm contemplating whether to forward his emails to them..

It's terrible that this happened to your sister, and I'm very sorry to hear about it. Unfortunately, it's not just in Islamic culture that this sort of behaviour flourishes -- it's a huge problem in America too, for instance. There is a mentality wherein the abused woman feels that her abuser loves her and that he cannot "help himself" when he does what he does, or that somehow she has provoked the behaviour and so cannot and should not blame him for his actions. This sense of "shared responsibility" for being abused is incredibly destructive to the individual and prevents them from taking the steps necessary in removing themselves from the situation.

May God protect her and forgive her sins for the suffering she is going through.