[Musashi]

Asallamu 'alaikum wa rahmatulLahi wa barakatuh

I used to be quiet and timid. I could be angry, I could be enraged, but I would never show it. Just a few years ago, I finally snapped at someone on the internet and it seems the quiet and timid me was gone forever and I finally started saying exactly what I thought rather than hide behind niceties.

Although, now, I wish more than ever that the timid and quiet me would come back.

I actually HIT my father once in anger. A kick! It was very weak, but it was more the thought that I HIT him rather than how much damage I caused. It was a pathetic move I still feel very guilty over.

The way I am now, I treat people like they're no longer human on the internet. I'm certain if the same things happened in real life, I'd be much less likely to yell the things I type on the internet.

Now I'm only quiet around my mother and father, especially my mother (NOT my biological mother, my step-mother. Though I'm still quieter than I should be around HER as well...). But the reason for that is fear rather than respect. I want to change that, I really do.

Insha Allah, I'll improve.

As painful as it was keeping everything bottled up inside of me, I want to return to being timid and quiet. I want my patience back! I want to be more or less a little punching bag who never complains. Anything's better than THIS.

Sea_of_Roses, wow. ^^;;; I don't blame you for snapping, but the hitting, in retrospect, probably did you more harm than her.

Of course, you probably shouldn't be listening to the heartless girl who hit her father and is probably going to burn in Jahanam for it. TT-TT